Simple Math

I've talked with many beginners about their fears of playing golf with low handicappers, and the most common response I hear is they don't want to be embarrassed. While this is understandable, it's also complete crap. Low handicappers really don't care how poorly you play. In fact, the reason someone is able to consistently shoot in the 70s or 80s is because they are really focused on what they are doing. No, what annoys a low handicapper is not how many balls you fire into the woods, it's the time spent looking for the balls you fire into the woods. Nothing kills a round of golf faster than slow play. It's the age old adage: if you're going to suck, suck fast.

"That's total BS," you're probably saying "I've seen low handicappers looking for their ball in the woods. In fact, I've played with guys who spend what seems like forever before they give up and take a penalty stroke. It's not fair."

There's a reason low handicappers are "allowed" to spend a few minutes looking for a lost ball - they're better at golf! Take a breath and relax, I'm not advocating any kind of golfer elitism. Much like Ferris Bueller, I don't condone ism's. It's really a matter of simple math. A low handicapper might take as many as 20 to 30 fewer strokes than a beginner. If the two golfers finish the round in the same time, the beginner must play faster in order to pack those extra strokes into the round.

And now for some math...

Let's take an "average" round of 4 hours and 45 minutes or 285 minutes. In order to play 18 holes in this time, a golfer needs to play each hole in a little under 16 minutes. Looking at it another way, an average course comes in around 6,600 yards - to cover this distance the golfer needs to average 1 yard for every 2:35 seconds.

So:

For an average par 3 ~180 yards, you would assume 7 minutes and 46 seconds

For an average par 4 ~380 yards, you would assume 16 minutes and 25 seconds

For an average par 5 ~500 yards, you would assume 21 minutes and 35 seconds

Are you with me so far? Pretty basic, but now we're going to toss in a couple of wrinkles. You see, the time assumption can't be applied so simply since the majority of time on each hole is taken on the tee box and on the putting green. We're assuming it splits thusly:

10% of the time is spent on the tee box

40% of the time is spent between the tee box and the green

50% of the time is spent on the green

Let's go back to our initial estimate of 16 minutes per hole (4 hours 45 minutes / 18 holes). Using the assumptions identified above, you would see the following:

~1.5 minutes on the tee box

~9 minutes on the green

~6.3 minutes between tee and green

Over the course of a 4 hour and 45 minute round, the average golfer will spend around 28 minutes on the tee boxes, and 143 minutes on the greens.

Oh, and you still need to get from the tee to the green. For this exercise we'll assume the use of golf carts with an average speed of 12 miles per hour or 21,120 yards per hour or 352 yards per minute. Now, lets also take that average course length of 6,600 yards and gross it up by 10% (since you rarely go from the tee box to the green in a straight line), which gives us an estimated driving distance of 7,260 yards. In a golf cart traveling 352 yards per minute, the average golfer will spend 28.6 minutes driving around the course.

So now we've got:

28 minutes on the tee box

143 minutes on the greens

28 minutes driving in the golf cart

Subtotal: 191.6 minutes

All of this leaves a little over 93 minutes to reach the green after you've left the tee box!

But wait, there's more. Since a par 3 only requires a tee shot to reach the green (or at least the area around the green), we'll take them out. Assuming the average course has four par 3's, we'll take those remaining 93 minutes and divide them by the remaining 14 holes, giving us 6.7 minutes.

What does that mean? Simply put, in order to finish a round of golf under the 4 hour 45 minute mark, a golfer has less than 7 minutes to get to the green once they leave the tee box on each hole.

Based on a golfers handicap, we can assume the following:

Handicap: Avg Number of Shots to Reach the Green:

0-5 1.0

6-10 1.5

11-15 2.0

16-20 2.5

21-25 3.0

25+ 4.0

Here's where all that complicated math gets simple. Since the low handicapper will probably only require 1 or 2 shots to reach the green. This means they can can take the time to look for the occasional ball in the woods. The law of averages says that if they spend 5 minutes looking for a ball on one hole, they'll make that time up somewhere along the round. The high handicapper on the other hand, will have to cram 3 or 4 shots into that 7 minute window - which means they simply don't have time to spend looking for a ball.

Here's a graph:

Whereas the low handicapper can spend the full 7 minutes on the shot, a 25+ golfer will need to average under 2 minutes per shot. That doesn't leave much time for practice swings, club selection, shot gunning beers, looking for lost balls, apologizing to home owners, and filling out insurance forms. If your handicap is in the 20s or even if you're a 10 to 15, you just don't have time to mess around out there. If you're worried about losing balls, either buy cheaper balls (there are a lot of good ones out there) or get better. When you hit a ball into the woods, give it a quick look, then take the drop and penalty. Heck, the penalty stroke is probably going to HELP your scorecard rather than spending 4 strokes trying to punch out of the woods.

There you have it, mathematical proof that if you are going to suck, suck fast. So to all you beginners out there, the next time your low handicap buddy invites you out, take him up on the offer. No one minds playing with beginners, so long as they don't kill the round with slow play.

~Saps

How will it all end?

There are some dangerous events on the horizon, but just how will it all end? Make your guess and see if you're right! At the very least it'll give you something to brag about during armageddon!!

Blasters: A Retrospective

Looking back, it was fitting Shea and I received the Montgomery County Golf email when we did. The two of us were sitting at bar, two beers into an impromptu day-after-Thanksgiving booze-a-thon. As we waited for others to trickle in, we opened our phones and sealed our fate; "9-holes...par 45...5,557 yards....Blasters Open..." We fired off emails to the local crew, and within minutes we had Brett signed up as our 3rd. Mikey would join up later to round out what would become an epic foursome.

Essentially what they'd done was take the par 70, 6,100-yard course at Falls Road and cut it in half....then doubled it. Rather than the first hole being a short 330 yard par 4, it was transformed into an 800-yard par 6! Holes included sharp 90 degree doglegs, blind shots over trees, forced carries over greens (many of which were in play and contained fellow blasters trying to sink putts while ducking for cover)! In a word....Blasters!!!!

See the flyer: http://www.montgomerycountygolf.com/pdf//2010%20FRGC%20Blasters%20Open.pdf

The format was an odd combination - a "shamble" they called it. Each player fired a tee shot and everyone played from the best drive. From there, each player played their own ball, and the best score was recorded. This added an additional level of difficulty - especially for our squad which included a 36+ handicapper. It also meant that birdies would be super difficult, unless you were the group that cheated (and therefore won), but we'll get to that soon enough.

Much like Myrtle, the days leading up to the Blasters could not pass fast enough.

The 4 of us felt like school girls waiting for an NKOTB concert to start. "Why can't it be here already," we'd whine over and over. I passed the time creating an elaborate google map of the golf course complete with blasters strategy....to which we did not adhere in the slightest. Of us all, Shea was easily the most excited. Blasters was scheduled to start promptly at 10 am. Shea was knocking on Brett's door a hair before 7 am, with the first documented shotgun performed at 6:56 am. I boarded the metro leaving Vienna at 7:15 and joined the shotgun festivities around 8:30 am. The Blasters was already living up to expectations. When Mike arrived I gave everyone their Blaster's day presents - a dozen florescent (yellow and orange) bridgestone e-6's....individually labeled with the team Blasters logo (arts and crafts time). After a couple more shotguns and a few shots of bourbon, we loaded our bags with CL's and lit out towards the Blasters.

When we arrived at Falls Road, we were already feeling the effects of drinking before breakfast (or DBB)...you know that mix of the not quite awake feeling you have before the 6th cup of coffee and the elevated buzz you get from drinking on an empty stomach. The placid jitters of a nervous calm. We signed in and grabbed a little something to eat at the complimentary breakfast - mainly just coffee and muffins, but it was included which was nice. Actually, I should pause here to point out just how rad Montgomery County and the Falls Road Golf Course are. Not only was this a great idea and a great deal ($60 per player, included small breakfast, range tokens, drink specials, and a couple complimentary 16 oz boozer!!), but it really showed a departure from the stuffy attitudes you get at a lot of courses. They essentially designed a tournament where golfers were encouraged to go all 'Happy Gilmore' - firing drivers from the fairway, spraying balls all over the course, and enjoying a few beers and laughs along the way. Big ups to Montgomery County Golf for encouraging some fun.

Anyway, back to the impending debauchery. The weather forecast was calling for a "moderate" December day, with temperatures in the high 30s. Instead we arrived at the course to find a frost delay (not unexpected) and snow flurries (somewhat unexpected). Brett and I decided the best course of action was to belly up to the bar and order a few pre-round boozers. We ordered a 12 pack of 16oz CLs (in addition to the dozen or so beers we had in our bags). As we cracked open a tall boy, we noticed we were the only ones drinking. A fellow Blaster approached us:

"Wow, I wasn't sure the bar was open yet."

"The bar opened at 6:56." Brett replied.

After about 45 minutes they herded us to our carts and set us off - not because the frost had burned off, but because conditions weren't going to get any better. The snow continued as we drove to our starting hole. We teed off on hole #9; a 679-yard downhill par 5. They had 2 groups starting out at each hole, and the group at the tee box with us consisted of 4 older gentlemen in their late 50's. Mikey started us off but the tee box was still frozen so hard he couldn't get a tee into the ground. One of the older dudes behind us laughed and said "does anyone have a hammer?" Not missing a beat, Brett ran over to Mike's bag and produced a bottle of Gentlemen's Jack.

"I've got the hammer right here," Brett, now king of the one-liners, said.

The old dude happily took the bottle from Brett, unscrewed the cap, and very professionally put down a shot. Blasters.

The florescent yellow and orange blasters balls seemed like a fun novelty - obnoxious but functional (which pretty much sums up everyone in the LBI), but as we made our approach shots on the first hole we learned the bright orange and yellow was going to be critical. The snow was now completely covering the greens - and they were still frozen.

It took a couple of holes before we got used to the frozen factor. Anything landing on the green took a cart path sized bounce into the air. Putting on the snow covered greens was even more of a challenge. The balls picked up snow as they rolled, making any putt over 5 feet impossible. I don't mean that as hyperbole - it wasn't possible to know which way the ball would spiral as it picked up snow, nor was it possible to know how far the ball would roll before it stopped. I make this point because not only was each player responsible for playing their own balls after the drive, but you couldn't hold the frozen greens - and you couldn't sink a putt. Facing all of this, the winning team claims to have shot 4 under...on a par 9, 5,550-yard frozen and snow covered course.....playing snow white balls. Say it with me kids; "Shenanigans!"

More on the cheating later.

Our 2nd hole was #1 - this was my favorite Blaster's hole. I started it out with a big drive down the middle of the fairway. Because of the frozen ground, the ball landed and rolled up to the green - almost 320 yards. For my next shot, I tried to play a "safe" shot based on the strategy I laid out in my Blasters course guide. I failed (terribly), but I learned an important lesson; there is no safe shot in the Blasters. Brett hit the first of several solid drivers off the deck. I believe Shea also hit a driver off the deck or maybe it was a fairway wood....either way it was a Crush over the next tee box, a little to the right but a long way. I can't remember exactly what Mike did, but I know for a fact he didn't hit the ball 200 yards to the left. Or maybe that's exactly what he did. Cue the circus music for another entertaining romp on the frozen greens, and we recorded our second par and moved onto the next hole.

I won't detail each hole, but I feel the first 3 are worthy of the electronic ink. Hole #2 (our 3rd hole) started on a par 3, with the tee shot flying over the green, over the cart path, and over the tee box on the next hole. Moreover, the flight line also traveled over the left edge of the #3 green, so someone had to drive over and fore-caddy / tell the dudes putting to kiss their asses good-bye. No one died at our hands (thankfully) but even though our shots all landed in a good position, we still came within 10 yards of the guys on the green. Again, this was by design...they designed to course to have people putting with golf balls whizzing by their heads! Blasters!

Since there was a bit of a backup at the start, we waited until our 4th hole before our 1st on course shotgun (though we'd been plowing through the beers, and had several shots of the whiskey to keep warm). The 16 oz tall boys went down hard in the cold snow, but they eventually went down. The group behind us gave us a little tip of the cap. By the time we reached "the turn" after the 5th hole, we needed more beers (even our bags were growing light).

The course only had one par 3, weighing in at 282 yards (uphill, of course). It's December, the snow is still falling, albeit a flurry, and while we've lost any comprehension of time, we figure it's probably somewhere around Shirtless o'clock.

Maybe it was the Gentleman's Jack, or the shotguns, or the CLs, or the adrenaline rush from teeing off half naked with the group behind us watching - but it really didn't feel all that cold at the time. My ball was crushed and actually finished past the hole (keep in mind the ground was still frozen solid). Unfortunately the green was elevated and my ball rolled down the hill to the right. I didn't win closest to the pin (yes, there was actually a prize for closest to the pin on a 282 yard par 3), but I did managed to get up and down for bogey - and since everyone else's tee shot landed in suck, the bogey was key. Oh, I should mention we didn't just rock the shirtless for our tee shots then cower back under our multiple layers - oh no, we honored the shirtless par 3 and rolled the entire hole. Whatever warmth I was feeling on the tee box was quickly gone as we drove off in our carts. After we holed out, we took in another of life's goodnesses - Shirtless Shotguns....again with spectators.

When we walked into the clubhouse we were feeling pretty good, both in terms of our score and our level of intoxication. We finished at +4, and while we knew we weren't going to win, we thought it was a respectable score - and it was. There were some monster numbers posted and we were towards the front of the pack. We gorged on the chili and plethora of fried goodness Falls Road laid out for us, and awaited the winning score. On the course we'd shared a beer with one of the course pros and back in the clubhouse he was giving us some insight into the groups. It turned out the course pros were playing in the tournament, and they seemed to be the team to beat (one guy racked up all of the long drive prizes). Much to our surprise, the team of course pros finished 2nd at -1, a heck of a good score considering all of the obstacles. They then announced the winning team...finishing at -4. I remember a lot of grumbling from the crowd - even the guy making the announcement made an off handed comment about them fudging their score. Brett however, decided not to reduce his objections to a dull murmur.

"Bullshit!"

"Booooooo. Boooo. Bullshit. Bullshit!"

"BULLSHIT!"

At first there were some laughs, but then it got a little awkward...except for our table. We were rolling. Because really, screw those guys! There was NO WAY they finished with that score. There was no way they could have made any long putts, and there was no way their balls got lucky enough to land close enough to the hole on frozen greens.....no way...no way.

Putting the bitterness behind, we rolled back to Brett's place. Mike, who drew the short straw of driver, opted to grab a nap on the couch. The rest of us scoured Brett's place for booze. We found some bourbon, a couple straggling beers, and a bottle of wine. They all went down. We then tried to fire up some Rock Band, but unfortunately Brett couldn't find the microphone. He looked high and low, and basically tore his place apart trying to find the mic - but it was nowhere to be found. This, as you might expect, led to rage....and Brett's rage led to Shea's and my delight.

"Brett, where's the mic?"

"I don't fucking know.....DAMMIT..."

"Brett, let's play Rock Band, where's the mic?"

"FUCK"

By this point we were in B.O.B (Black-Out Brett) territory, which meant only one thing; Jay's Saloon! We piled in Mike's car (the dude was a trooper) and rolled out to Jays. We walked in, asked the waitress for a table, took 4 steps towards said table, and then Brett called an audible; "We're going to CCR....we need boobies." Boom, 'nuff said! The waitress was in the process of cleaning off the table when she saw our about-face. "Where are you going?" She asked. "Ah," I started, "we're heading to another establishment." Seeing the look of sadness in her eyes, I did the only honorable thing I could think of...I blamed it all on Brett. "He wants to go to a nudie bar." She looked at our group disappointingly, "well, ok." She turned around and looked a little bitter. I'm not sure what kind of reaction I was looking for - maybe a firm pat on the back "oh, you rascals, get on out of here....scamps...." I started to think that I should apologize for making her clean the table then bolting, but by this time everyone else was out the door and I realized I really didn't care. Off to the nudie bar to see boobies!!

I don't know if this point was mentioned earlier, but the Blasters took place on a Friday. We'd been drinking steadily since 7 am on a weekday. Moreover, my girlfriend (my lovely and unbelievably forgiving girlfriend, who will no doubt be reading this write-up) was working until midnight. As she dropped me off at the metro that morning, she asked when I'd be home. "Not late," I said "I really don't want to be out late today....there's no way I can start drinking this early and last all day." Well, apparently I don't know my true potential, because I was certainly out well past "not late." As we walked into CCR I had a vague recollection of telling my girlfriend I'd be home before she got home. As we took our seats at the front of the stage I let out a small sigh, "well, looks like I won't be getting home before she does....it's a good thing she's so beautiful and understanding."

Blasters has now reached Myrtle status. The four of us are bellied up to the stage, tossing back boozers with one hand, and tossing out dollars with the other. As Brett and I argued back and forth as to who the strippers liked more (it was me), Shea and Mike stuffed their faces with fine grubbers (Mike was putting down some of the tasty prime rib). Somewhere in the dwindling hours of the night (it was maybe 9pm) Brett wandered off. We hoped he was getting picked up by his girlfriend for a ride home, but we later heard he was wandering through the streets of Crystal City. Thankfully, at this time of the night, he still had his clothes on. Eventually the ATM stopped giving me money, which meant I had nothing left to offer the lovely ladies. My charm wore off quickly once I lost my fistful of dollars and it was time to head home. Mike drove us back to Brett's place, and we were relieved to learn he made it home safely - although he never did find the Rock Band mic. By this time my girlfriend was off work, and rather than going straight home to rest, she agreed to meet up somewhere in Arlington to drive my drunk ass home. I piled all my stuff into Mike's ride, and as we drove away from Brett's I shed a tear knowing the Balsters had come to an end. It was a good day....no...it was a great day. The Blasters offered a glimpse of what lay ahead for Myrtle. A preview of shirtlessness, boozers and boobies - drunken golf in the snow is topped only by drunken golf in the sun. We showed up to the rendezvous and jumped out to grab my clubs from the trunk...where I then emptied the contents of my golf bag onto Wilson Blvd.

Blasters...

It's all over but the dry heaving.....

Another myrtle has come and gone, and while I nibble on antacids and procrastinate clearing out my work inbox, I thought it would be nice to reflect upon the good times, and revisit our pre-Myrtle prognostications.

Highlights from the trip:

• A Myrtle rookie makes his mark early by taking the RV club one step further with the RV bomb (a car bomb that's taken while traveling at 60 mph). His high praise was short lived however, as he lasted until just past Richmond before passing out....in the middle of a card game.

• Another year, another order of waffle house hash browns topped (cheese) and covered (chili)....and another year of not breaking the RV code. I'm living dangerously, but surviving none the less (t'was an RV rookie who broke the code this year).

• Myrtle euphoria + cute Hooters gift shop chick + beer every 15 miles from Ensfield NC to Myrtle Beach SC = Hooters golf towels for all!!!

• I don't care what they say, Moden's hat was fly. They all just hatin', kid.

• Sheabone was in the group behind me on first round in the first day. On just about every other hole I heard "HEY PIERRE!" This was followed by the very large man humping whatever was close.

• Sheabone was in my group on the second round in the first day. When he rolled up, I sighed deeply knowing my round was in trouble. Beer club was performed on the second hole.

• Glen Dornouch, hole 16.....shirtless par 3. Followed very shortly by the shirtless beer club (another Myrtle first)

• Hurricane Mikoy cut a path of destruction 4 condos deep. 6 shot guns and 2 car bombs in an hour. When opened the door he just stood there grinning. "Sheabone is hiding from me," he said in a French accent. That should have been enough warning right there.

• Carmela Soprano owes me a quesadilla

• A certain hero deserves a medal for saving the day not once by twice. Not only did he carry 3 drunken fool out of a "gentleman's establishment" (thereby saving their bank accounts) but he also made a timely call informing us of traffic on I-95. This saved another fool from messing his shorts in the RV (we'd already dumped the septic at this point). Well done, sir, and thank you!

• Moden aka Superfly Snuka may interrupt your dinner

• Pool party with the crazy fish and white lightning....and Shrek's ass!

• "Ohhhh Noooooowh" is the new "Fail." Said just as often in 2010, and every bit as annoying and addicting.

• Prestwick can suck it

• OhShea OhSheaOhShea OhShea!!!!

• Myrtle 2010 was capped off with a "fail" 30 second before departure as I dropped our condo key down the drainage grate in the parking lot. Thankfully the condo wasn't on my credit card (sorry Dave).

• ...and finally, a sincere thank you to Brett for organizing another great time. It's a #$&@-ton of work but it turns our amazing every time.

"That's a terrible recap...just tell us who won already!" Fine....you impatient jerk...here you go. Below you'll find the finishes for all 16 golfers as well as a comparison to our intial projections. Some we nailed pretty close, others way way off. Congratulations to Brett for taking the trophy! He played solid golf all week, and still manged to hammer down beer clubs.

1st Place: Brett Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 2nd)

What we said: "He won't miss by much, but the round 3 pairing (Shea, Bos, Lich) might be too much to overcome.

Net (over par): -1

Recap: It turns out he lived through his 3rd round pairing just fine, posting an 80 gross while firing down multiple beer clubs. Probably the most well rounded tournament anyone has played in the LBI - 3 rounds in the low 80s and one in the 70's, with lots and lots of pound towns. Impressive.

2nd Place: Matt Moden (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 9th)

What we said: "2-time champ won't muster the magic from prior years."

Net (over par): +7

Recap: Moden shrugged off fire ant attacks and drunken injuries and wound up playing some solid golf. Though he struggled in the 4th round, Moden still managed to hang on to 2nd place thanks to strong rounds at Glen Heather and Grande Dunes.

3rd Place: Matt Sapsford (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 5th)

What we said: "He will get his mental game under control and solidify his legacy in the LBI...but if there is a blow up it will come in round one (paired with Ladd & Nasar)"

Net (over par): +11

Recap: We weren't the only ones to think the first round could spell doom for 2010. Ladd & Nasar had a side bet as to which hole I'd blow up on during that first round. Despite their attempts to break me, I kept my mental game in check and played well. Unfortunately the heat and the shot guns were a little too much for me at Glen Dornouch where I posted my only triple digit round (100). I made a charge at Moden in the last round, but the hangover effect from Hurricane Mikoy proved a little to difficult to overcome.

4th Place: Jason Lich (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 1st)

What we said: "If he remembers how to score, he could be dragging the trophy 3000 miles across the country"

Net (over par): +21

Recap: After a mediocre 1st day (89, 97 - including a 10 on the super tough 18th at Glen Dornouch), Lich made a hard charge on the 3rd round at Grande Dunes posting an 85. Unfortunately the poor conditions of the greens at Prestwick got the better of him, and he couldn't continue his charge. Still, a hard fought top 5 finish.

5th Place (tied): Brian Ladd (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 8th)

What we said: "Can he keep it together and post strong, or will he focus on the liquid side of the game...he should finish near the middle of the pack and make a good mark as a rookie."

Net (over par): +25

Recap: Ladd made a strong impact in his first year in the LBI, entering the final round net +13. Unfortunately the liquid side got the better of him as he fought through the hangover on the last round and nearly doubled his net score. Perhaps most importantly (or most tragically - depending on how you look at it) he was able to capture the shirtless par 3 on film.

5th Place (tied): Chris Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 4th)

What we said: "CT's been playing solid golf lately, but with limited time for practice, he may finish 3rd among the Mikoy's"

Net (over par): +25

Recap: After fighting through the pound town round at Glen Dornouch and posting a solid 85, things looked good for CT. But then came the rage -- not at his golf game, but rather the poor conditions at Prestwick (the greens really were terrible). Regardless whether it was the rage or the conditions, CT's 95 in the final round took him out of contention for a top 3 finish.

5th Place (tied): Steve Boswell (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 6th)

What we said: "Bos is playing with an average group handicap of 17.8, which should keep him focused enough to avoid the catastrophe round"

Net (over par): +25

Recap: El Jesus Boswellio did not have the catastrophe round which seems to plague his golf game, but nor did he have that low round which propelled him to the 2009 championship. His 4 rounds were all about 4 or 5 strokes over par... respectable and consistent, but not enough for a top 3 finish.

8th Place: Kevin Shea (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 7th)

What we said: "Too many beer clubs"

Net (over par): +27

Recap: We almost completely missed our projection on Shea. Rolling into the final day at +7, Shea was in the hunt for 2nd place. Another victim of Hurricane Mikoy, Shea struggled mightily at Prestwick posting a crushing 113. Let it be known Shea did not limp to the finish line! After fighting through the front nine, Shea beer clubed the final 4 holes.

9th Place: Brian Ciarlo (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 3rd)

What we said: "His game is strong enough to win, but playing the whole week with high handicappers is just an uphill battle"

Net (over par): +32

Recap: Despite our concerns over his pairings, we still thought Ciarlo could pull off a top 3 finish. We were wrong. Ciarlo dug himself into a hole with a +18 net after day one and, despite playing well at Grande Dunes, succumbed to the beer clubs at Prestwick.

10th Place: Rufus Knight (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 13th)

What we said: "Rufus is cash money inside 75 yards...the problem is getting there"

Net (over par): +34

Recap: Wearing pants for only half the rounds, Rufus looked as though he was going to prove the prognosticators wrong. He posted the 2nd best net score at Glen Dornouch, and entered the final round at a net +16. Unfortunately he posted his worst score on the final round with a net +18. We'll once again throw the blame on Prestwick. Boooo Prestwick....Booo. Mow your greens!!!

11th Place: Bryan Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 10th)

What we said: "The handicap is too low...posting a 70's round just get a net par is too much to ask"

Net (over par): +37

Recap: Perhaps it was the back to back rounds in the 90s that set off Hurricane Mikoy. His pain was our pain as he took down about half of the golfers in the field.

12th Place: Troy Welck (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 14th)

What we said: "With the new kid and not much practice, Troy will focus on what he needs to, boozing....maybe even sleeping"

Net (over par): +43

Recap: Turns out what he needed to focus on was the World Cup, as Troy posted his best round on the final day -- when he had a portable TV in the cart showing the world cup game.

13th Place: Dave Nasar (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 15th)

What we said: "Dave's mustache makes him look like Freddy Mercury"

Net (over par): +49

Recap: No one at Myrtle 2010 grew a mustache except me. Despite the fact Dave could have grown a mustache during the RV ride down the Myrtle he decided not to impersonate the former front man for Queen. Booo. Bad Form! Dave battled a bulging disc in his back for the entire week and actually played well for stretches, but not enough for a top 10 finish.

14th Place: Chris Stevens (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 11th)

What we said: "His 1st round pairing should get him off to a solid start"

Net (over par): +58

Recap: His 1st round pairing did indeed get him off to a solid start -- unfortunately it went downhill from there. White Lightning battled through some heat exhaustion at Glen Dornouch and fortunately he was able to recover and finish out the week.

15th Place: Doug Barszcz (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 12th)

What we said: "Never underestimate such a high handicap"

Net (over par): DNF

Recap: Barszcz was off to a solid week before a family emergency required he leave in the middle of the final round. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

16th Place: Mike Hollandsworth (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 16th)

What we said: "He has an excellent chance to shoot 8 rounds of par golf....unfortunately it will be over 4 rounds"

Net (over par): DNF

Recap: Even before the effects of Hurricane Mikoy caused him to withdraw after 6 holes on the final round, Mike was on a one way train to last place. As a result, he had to clean out the RV shitter, which thanks to a fellow rookie contained an ugly little surprise.

So there you have it. Another Myrtle come and gone, we are left waiting another year until we can run around like morons, play golf with our shirts off, and shot gun beers on the tee box.

Financial recap and possibly more videos to follow. For those interested, my photos can be seen here (nothing scandalous).

~Saps

Place Your Bets, Place Your Bets

"Hey Whitey, Where's your hat? I bet you slice it into the woods! A hundred bucks."

These are the words of a gambling man. If you, too, fashion yourself as a gambler (no, not the 14th hole at King's North golf course in myrtle) then these words are like music to your ear.

It was announced last week that Sheabone will be the Myrtle Beach bookie. He will take straight up bets, prop bets, even bets about whether or not our caddies this year will be better looking than "Precious" (you decide if you take that to mean Gollum from Lord of the Rings or the young girl from the movie i'll never see because it looks like the saddest movie ever). Whatever the case, Sheabone is your man.

The handicaps have been locked, practice is all but complete. I'd say it's pretty much over save for the drinkin, the eatin, the shankin and the spankin (those of you who might frequent derrierre's)...

Before I post the odds as prognosticated by the masters of all things myrtle, I have a brief commentary on the state of affairs. Since the handicaps were locked, Brett has posted an even par round, then followed that up my losing 8 balls the next. Bos had his best round of the year even with a shaky finish (his words). Saps, while trending solidly for weeks now seems to be trending in the opposite direction. Could that be due to his projected finish below??? Rufus, according to oob, hasn't played since September! Bryan seems to play every day, yet claims to be unemployed...how is this??? We have a search and recover team deployed to determine what, if any state, T-Roy's golf game is in...And Douglas Barz. What can be said? A consistent 120-130 golfer in myrtles past goes out and shoots a 97 with a 10????? If there's a darkhorse going into myrtle...Douglas Barczzczsazxdasczaxczcz, it is thou...

Here are the projected finishes...clearly we didn't have bios for all since the creators are slackers...

Statistics Used:
Handicap: Based on Oobgolf.com as of 05/25/2010
Current Scoring Avg: from last 20 rounds (ESC Adjusted scores used)
Scoring above Handicap: Differential of past 20 rounds minus current handicap (are you playing to your handicap)
Myrtle Differential: Average net scores over past 3 Myrtle trips over par (indicator of how well you shoot at Myrtle vs a standard round)

Jason Lich

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 2nd
2008 Finish: 6th
2009 Finish: 5th
2010 Projection: 1st

Statistics
Handicap: 11.9 (5th)
Current Scoring Avg: 89.6 (5th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.5 (4th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $132 (5th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.7 (2nd)

Spawned in the deep woods of West Virginia Jason Lich fulfilled his redneck heritage and lives without his 3rd molar. Knowledgeable on a wealth of subjects (complex engineering, economics of Weimar Germany, fruit fly mating rituals), Lich is always ready to corner you for 8 hours providing you with 500 reasons why JMU football should be in the BCS. He retired for three months at age 37 only to be pulled back into the into the world of male exotic entertainment. His unconventional game is...unconventional. He lines up 45 degrees to the right, and pipes the drive low but down the middle of the fairway....245 yards to glory. Rattled only when tossed from a cart, he's got the mental game of Tiger and the back hair of El Chupacabra. He's the only member at Myrtle with an even par round and a hole in one. It doesn't matter that his swing is that of bizarro-Furyk, if you're matched against him you better bring a bottle of Woodford and your "A" game.

CT says: X factor is moving out west. Does the west coast air add 500 yards to his courses? Can he rekindle the fire from the hole in one at glen dornoch? Will he take off his shirt in the bar again? (CT’s projection: 5th)

Saps says: The handicap Factor makes him a strong bet to win it. In past years he’s been rolling into Myrtle sporting around a 7 (handicap that is….), currently he’s 5 strokes higher around 12. He may be playing poorly these days, but getting back to the east coast could provide him with the boost he needs. If he remembers how to score he could be dragging the trophy 3000 miles across the country. (Saps’s projection: 1st)

Brett Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 3rd
2009 Finish: 2nd
2010 Projection: 2nd

Statistics
Handicap: 7.3 (2nd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.2 (2nd)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.2 (3rd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $275 (2nd)
Myrtle Differential: 3.5 (4th)

Since Myrtle 2009 Brett has checked the following accomplishments off the sports bucket list; 1) robbed a home run ball, 2) bowled a perfect game, 3) shot an even par round. As a master of the old man sports, Brett is just a pair of "Depends" away from a quiet resting place in Shady Pines Retirement Village. Still, if things keep trending this way, Brett may add the Myrtle Cup to round out his old man sports "quad-fecta."

CT says: Not even a slew of chuck lessons can propel him to the top spot. He won't miss by much, but the round 3 pairing (Shea, Bos, Lich) will be too much to overcome. (CT’s projection: 3rd)

Saps says: I put him behind his brother just to add fuel to the rivalry. Last year, Brett made the mistake of posting some rounds in the 70s - this year; he’s learned to suck a little more. With his handicap back at a more manageable 7, Brett’s chances go up considerably. Can he work with the pressure now that Bryan has a lower handicap? (Saps’s projection: 5th)

Brian Ciarlo

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 3rd
2008 Finish: 7th
2009 Finish: 4th
2010 Projection: 3rd

Statistics
Handicap: 9.8 (4th)
Current Scoring Avg: 86.9 (4th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.8 (5th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $89 (6th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.0 (5th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: A perennial top 5’er, this year's pairings are his undoing and he can't quite break through (CT’s projection: 2nd)

Saps says: Talk about your bad draws, Cairlo is playing 3rd highest average group handicap – 24.3! If he can stay patient and ignore the multitude of debacles around him, his game is strong enough to win. Playing the whole week with high handicappers is just an uphill battle. (Saps’s projection: 7th)

Chris Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 4th
2008 Finish: 4th
2009 Finish: 3rd
2010 Projection: 4th

Statistics
Handicap: 7.8 (3rd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.8 (3rd)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.9 (2nd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $198 (4th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.5 (1st)

You're not getting any frills. You might experience some irritation or some unnecessary stress. I can certainly tell you that CT will bring his A-Game to anything he does. There is no half-assery. The ladies...love him. The men...envy him. Why? Well, no one knows, but some things in life are better left unquestioned. The proud father of a 6 month old as we move into the myrtle season, we wonder how he'll keep his concentration now that it's not just the lufa which draws his attention. Mentally strong, maybe. Dashing, i think so. At the end of the day, he's the only member of the LBI crew who has managed to post a sub-80 round in the 3 tournaments so far, so he's gotta carry some clout and respect (incidentally, if you go back to his bachelor party in 2005, he posted an additional 2 rounds in the 70s). Outside of his wife and kid, golf is important in his life. He looks forward to this trip every year. Now that it is his sole man-trip every year, watch out; it got that much more important...watch out.

CT says: I’d like to rank myself higher. I’ll be solid, but I fear there will be 2-4 holes throughout the week where the words "quad" will be used and it will be my downfall. Throw in a lack of practice and a lesson 3 weeks prior to the trip... (CT’s projection: 7th)

Saps says: The new child factor. CT’s been playing solid golf lately, but with limited time for practice he may finish 3rd among the Mikoys. Still, with his smooth and largely error free game, CT is never really out of the running. (Saps’s projection: 6th)

Matt Sapsford

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 11th
2008 Finish: 9th
2009 Finish: 10th
2010 Projection: 5th

Statistics
Handicap: 18 (6th)
Current Scoring Avg: 97.5 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.4 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $47 (7th)
Myrtle Differential: 11.8 (9th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: yes I’m saying it…The Mental Midget…The Rage Filled Master...he will get his mental game under control and solidify his legacy in the LBI. I have a feeling about the kid. He’s going to put less pressure on himself to perform and come through with 2 rounds in the 80s and 2 in the 90s. X factor, will he read this and then put pressure on himself? (CT’s projection: 1st)

Saps says: I want to say this is my year, but looking objectively, the mental game could provide yet another year of disappointment. After spending all of 2009 trying to eliminate the snap hook, Myrtle 2010 should be a considerable improvement over last year’s disaster. The short game is improved as well, and the overall scoring is finally consistent with the 18 handicap. Aside from the mental factor, I’ll be playing with an average group handicap of 22.3 – including a first round with Moden, Nasar and Ladd. If there is a blow up round, it’ll likely come on day 1, round 1. Will I be able to rebound? (Saps’s projection: 8th)

Steve Boswell

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 9th
2008 Finish: 15th (tied)
2009 Finish: 1st
2010 Projection: 6th

Statistics
Handicap: 22.4 (10th)
Current Scoring Avg: 101.9 (10th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.6 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $236 (3rd)
Myrtle Differential: 7.7 (8th)

Is the pope a catholic? Does a Bos $#&@ in the woods? As the elder statesman of the group Boswell carries a regal nobility which compliments his mature demeanor. That is unless he’s running around the golf course with his testicles hanging out of his pants. A lover of beers both Belgian and hopped, Sir Boswellicus the Inebriated can often be found swilling beverages at the Bottom Line with his current life partner Shea (rumor is they got married during a recent trip out to Las Vegas). Bos’s golf game took turn a big time turn last year as he fought through a wrist injury and multitudes of mental demons to win Myrtle 2009. Over the past year his general pessimism has slowly started to give way to confidence and while his scores of late have been bad his swing has actually been looking quite smooth. If he can recapture some of last year’s magic Bos has an outside chance for a top 5 finish. He’ll be playing with some of the more lower handicappers this year, which should keep him focused enough to finish well inside of the top 10.

CT says: Past champ hangover. The mental game not there right now and if you throw in potential new clubs…Fail. (CT’s projection: 12th)

Saps says: He’s hitting more fairways than ever. Plus you don’t have to worry about him putting additional pressure on himself to win back to back since the level of pressure he puts on himself is high no matter what the stakes. Bos is also playing with an average group handicap of 17.8, which should help him keep focused and avoid the catastrophe round. (Saps’s projection: 2nd)
Brett says: Historical data ranks Bos 7th in Avg finish, 10th in Avg HC, 7th in Avg Gross & Net, and carries a PF factor of 24. If he can lesson his PF factor by eliminating one blackout, make it through two Shea rounds, and overcome the 2 stroke HC penalty as last years champion” he’ll be in the running for back to back championships. (Brett’s projection: 10th)

Kevin Shea

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 6th
2010 Projection: 7th

Statistics
Handicap: 18.7 (7th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.7 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.0 (11th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $44 (8th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.1 (6th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Too many beer clubs. Updating woods to 2000s technology adds 5 spots to otherwise projected spot. (CT’s projection: 9th)

Saps says: Behind the multiple beer clubs and stripper ordering lays a solid golfer. Standing at 8’ 5”, Shea can bang out a drive with the best of ‘em. He’s got good touch and an above average short game. Having shed his persimmon driver, Shea could have a legitimate shot at the title. Then again it’s difficult to find that first fairway after walking straight from a lap dance to the tee box. Look for a few solid scores, lots of beer clubs, and a good time. (Saps’s projection: 9th)

Brian Ladd ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A)
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 8th

Statistics
Handicap: 27.7 (12th)
Current Scoring Avg: 105.8 (11th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.7 (13th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: Only played with him once. He will be the high rookie. From what I can tell his game can be sporadic. Can he keep it together and post strong or will he just focus on the liquid side of the game? (CT’s projection: 6th)

Saps says: Unbeknownst to just about everyone with the possible exception of Nasar, is that Ladd and I have a rivalry going back to Vienna Youth Intramural (VYI) basketball and has continued through adult baseball. If I’m batting ahead of him in the line-up, you can bet he’s going to be pressing extra hard…and vice versa. Playing with me on day one could provide him with the incentive to post a solid round…and it could have the exact opposite effect on me. He’s still inconsistent from shot to shot, but Brian should finish near the middle of the pack and make a good mark as a rookie. (Saps’s projection: 10th)

Matt Moden

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 1st
2008 Finish: 1st
2009 Finish: 9th
2010 Projection: 9th

Statistics
Handicap: 24.9 (11th)
Current Scoring Avg: 109.2 (12th)
Scoring above Handicap: 7.9 (14th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $585 (1st)
Myrtle Differential: 3.0 (3rd)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Two time champ again can't muster the magic from prior years (CT’s projection: 11th)

Saps says: A good golf game concealed by a maniac…Moden be crazy. He’s also got as good of a chance as anyone to post a solid round. As a 2 time champion, Moden may not get enough respect on the course….call him the Rodney Dangerfield of the group - both in respect and attire. One thing that no one can argue is that he will be looking fly out on the course. (Saps’s projection: 11th)

Bryan Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 12th
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 10th

Statistics
Handicap: 5 (1st)
Current Scoring Avg: 81.1 (1st)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.2 (1st)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $32 (9th)
Myrtle Differential: 7.6 (7th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: The handicap is too low. Posting a 70s round just to shoot net even scores is too much to ask at myrtle. (CT’s projection: 14th)

Saps says: I have no idea how the 5 handicap will translate to Myrtle, but it’s impressive none the less. He’s paired up with solid golfers all week, which should help him stay focused. Sure, he’s missed out on last year’s tournament, but if he can remember how to hit fairways while shot gunning boozers, he has a good chance. With the low handicap he’ll need some help from other golfers, but there are sure to be some monster numbers posted. If Mutumbo can hover around his average, he’s got a shot. (Saps’s projection: 4th)

Chris Stevens ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 11th

Statistics
Handicap: 21.9 (8th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.4 (7th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.0 (7th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: I feel like he'll play right at or above all rounds. It’s not the badness that worries me, it's the lack of seeing a stellar round out there. (CT’s projection: 14th)

Saps says: Though rarely talked about, Stevens has a solid game and has been playing right around his handicap of late. His day one pairing with Bos, Ciarlo and Shea should get him off on a good start -- solid players without a lot of pressure (Shea’s steady injection of CL’s will help relax). I look for Stevens to post a strong 1st round and stick around the top of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 3rd)

Doug Barszcz

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 8th
2010 Projection: 12th

Statistics
Handicap: 36.4 (16th)
Current Scoring Avg: 124.3 (16th)
Scoring above Handicap: 8.8 (15th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $25 (11th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Never underestimate such a high handicap. if minor adjustments are made to get him off the tee, he's got a chance (CT’s projection: 4th)

Saps says: Words said to me before last year’s Myrtle trip; “If I can’t finish in first, I’m going to make sure I pull other people down with me.” Sadly, I bore the brunt of his aggression last year, as his psychological attacked hammered away at an already fragile state. “Hey Saps, nice snap hook….how much did you pay to learn that shot?” These barbs still sting to this day. Barszcz has improved over last year, and may now be able to reach 180 yards on his drive. He will still finish near the back; the only question is who will he take with him? (Saps’s projection: 14th)

Rufus Knight

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 15th
2009 Finish: 11th
2010 Projection: 13th

Statistics
Handicap: 22.2 (9th)
Current Scoring Avg: 100.7 (9th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.9 (6th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: We're all pulling for Rufus. X factor is will he wear pants every day or not? if he wears shorts, my projection moves him up several spots. (CT’s projection: 8th)

Saps says: Perhaps the smoothest short game in the group, Rufus is cash money inside 75 yards. The problem is getting to 75 yards. He can hit the ball a mile, but the super fade is unreliable – fairways quickly turn to OB from one hole to the next. Still, he looks excellent in long pants. (Saps’s projection: 12th)

Troy Welck

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 7th
2010 Projection: 14th

Statistics
Handicap: 30 (13th)
Current Scoring Avg: 120.0 (154th)
Scoring above Handicap: N/A
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: With the kid and not much practice, Troy will focus on what he needs to, boozing...maybe even sleeping. (CT’s projection: 10th)

Saps says: Trouble T-Roy...Disaster waives at you with a smile and the next thing you know it’s 7am and you’re in the parking lot of a strip club. Another player with the new baby factor but then again practice was never all that high of a priority. From the wake up, grip it and rip it school, Troy is should provide Mikey with some solid company towards the back of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 15th)

Dave Nasar

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 12th
2010 Projection: 15th

Statistics
Handicap: 30.8 (14th)
Current Scoring Avg: 110.8 (13th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.5 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $26 (10th)
Myrtle Differential: 23.3 (13th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: I still think Nasar needs another year to realize what he needs to do to compete. last year, one day. (CT’s projection: 13th)

Saps says: 2 Facts; Dave’s moustache makes him look like Freddy Mercury; Dave has played MUCH more golf in the past year than the previous. Myrtle 2009 marked a return of sorts for Dave to the game of golf. His last place finish could just as easily been due to rust as scotch. Maybe it was 50/50. Dave’s improvement should save him from cleaning out the RV shitter for a second year in a row. (Saps’s projection: 13th)

Mike Hollandsworth ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 16th

Statistics
Handicap: 33.7 (15th)
Current Scoring Avg: 115.0 (14th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.8 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: 71 on the back 9 a couple weeks ago makes it difficult to put him anywhere but last. Sorry, Mike. His handicap at least gives him a chance…he could prove me wrong. (CT’s projection: 16th)

Saps says: Mikey may be the most honest score keeper of the bunch – and that includes Boswell. I’ve actually said to him “dude, just take an 8 on that one.” His reply is usually “nah, that was a 12.” Due to the Myrtle rule establishing 10 as the max per hole, Mike may be the only player to see his scores drop below average! That said he has an excellent chance to shoot 8 rounds of even par golf….unfortunately that will be over the course of 4 rounds. (Saps’s projection: 16th)

Golf-a-Phobia

Pretty much everything a person can do in the world has an associated phobia. Fear of daytime is an official phobia. Fear of crystals or glass is an official phobia. Virtually every letter in the alphabet has a phobia or phobias associated with it. The closest thing I have to a phobia is Selachophobia. For a complete listing of phobias, please go here: http://www.phobialist.com/.

One of the biggest phobias i see in my life is a fear of golf; yet there is no phobia associated with it. Any time you go out on the golf course, you see it too. It's not any kind of phenomenon. There is no specific auditory, visual or aromatic trigger that can cause it to manifest. Rather, it is a combination of any of them that can cause the golf fear to appear. It doesn't appear in the places you would typically expect, either. Many people think it appears when you have to hit over a pond to get to the green. Or maybe you think it's the 200 yard carry that releases the fear. I mean, who likes to hit 3 from the tee, let alone hitting 3 over a forced carry???

Around the green is where i see the most fear. How can one argue with this? To prove my point here are the top 5 fails that result from golf fear:

1. Par 4: you miss the green short on your approach. The pin is on the front of the green. You hit a chip right up short of the green. In your mind, you must hit a perfect shot and you're afraid that if you don't you'll be 50 feet away. However, 50 feet and putting for par is better than being 50 feet and putting for bogey; which is what you WILL be after you flub the chip.
2. Sand Traps: same scenario, just replace the pin on the front with the pin anywhere. Leave it in the trap, blade it into the woods behind the green, there's a good chance you're going to (in your mind, prior to hitting it) add strokes by a factor of 2.
3. The DAB (Drive After Bird): The one exception for the fear being around the green. For most of us, a bird may not be rare, but it doesn't happen regularly (not as regularly as bert pooping at least). All too often, unfortunately, we squander the reduction in our score compared to par by messing up the next drive. It's the top, the hook into the woods, the slice into the trees/water, whatever. Why can't we take a bird and build upon it? Why is it so hard?
4. The penultimate fear is that, which may exclusive to a person whose name rhymes with Leve Fozmell. I experienced this fear a few weeks back, in person. There was a par 4 the was a dogleg right. The green had a bunker left, right and to the right of the right bunker and all the way behind the green is water. Boz, unfortunately hit his approach into the water. However, it landed on ground and rolled in. So...that meant he could have dropped justto the right of the green. He was afraid, however, of hitting it over the green so he went back to where he originally hit the shot into the water. I don't know what that is, but it's gotta be fear in some way...
5. This is the capper. The Myrtle Fear. While it's not experienced by an individual as fear, per se, the effect is the same. This happens to players every year. Going into Myrtle, they're feeling good, playing well, even, dare i say, confident. Then the fear, manifested as excitement, kicks in...The Chunk from 100 yards. The double chip. The 4 putt. You want to so well. You want to win the coveted LBI cup, but in the end, FAIL. You're afraid to win.
   

Fear runs rampant in life. Don't be upset if it seeps into your golf game. Just don't let it penetrate deeply. We all are hesitant to try a new shot. We are even more hesitant to take our medicine and be patient. But it's what you need to do to be successful in golf...and in life.

The skies were angry that day my friends...

Now that my shoulder injury was confirmed by a real life doctor my Sundays are freed up from the baseball doubleheaders. Today I had two rounds lined up; 9:30 at Virginia Oaks and 2:30 at South Riding...if only the weather had cooperated. It didn't just rain on us...it poured. How wet was it? Ill let the Mutumbo slip and slide tell the story.





While my round wasn't great, I did come pretty damn close to my first ever ace.

As for the second round, we didn't make past the 6th whole before they closed the course. Bummer


~Saps