Monday, July 6, 2009

From Dawn to Dusk: 72 Holes of Greatness


Barry Bonds may have set the single season home run mark at 73, but when it comes to setting records on the golf course, the new magic number is 72. In just 13 hours of work, Brett and I played full 4 rounds of golf (that's 72 holes to you and me, Rus) at Swan Point last Thursday (July 2nd - go ahead and pencil that date down for a repeat in 2010). The first ones out, Brett and I tee'd off at 7:30am, and walked off a vacant course around 8:30 pm after hitting a victory drive on what would be hole 73.

"Wow," you're probably thinking, "that's quite insane and rather fanatical - and yet at the same time, glorious!"

Indeed.

Everything seemed to work out for us. We rolled up to the clubhouse early enough not be paired up with another twosome, and we spent most of the day going from green to tee box with almost no wait. Even the weather was perfect, topping out in the mid 80's with a cool breeze coming off the Potomac. The course itself, while a bit of a haul (an hour and half drive from Washington DC), is one of the nicest in the area, and seemed to get more enjoyable the more times we went around. Certainly, the day was pure goodness.

At a glance:

We both started out a little stiff, rushing from the car, to the clubhouse, to the 1st tee - and as a result, both Brett and I put up our worst scores on the day. We both played solid in the middle, but while Brett finished strong (80!), I limped to the finish line essentially double bogeying the back nine. Our average scores for the 4 rounds were actually a little better than our current scoring average (Brett 84.25 vs 85.6 / Saps 99.5 vs 101.8). As a fun little side stat, taking the best scores on each hole would have put Brett at a 71, and me at an 82.

Hole by Hole Recap:

Hole 1: The course starts out with nice little down hill par 4. With the second shot carrying water, we both played conservative with our first shots - Brett hitting the hybrid just over the fairway bunker, and me playing a 4 iron to the woods down the right side, then punching out to the edge of the water leaving a nice sand wedge to the green. We followed the same strategy for the first 3 rounds before switching it up in the final - where Brett hit a driver to the edge of the water, and I hit a 4 iron to the woods on the left hand side of the course.

Hole 2: The second hole is actually one of the more difficult on the course. A sharp dogleg right, this hole actually requires you to carry your drive 200+ over the wetlands. I seemed to have less trouble with this hole than Brett, but it wasn't until our 3rd time through that I realized the reason he couldn't pick out a good line on his drive was because he couldn't see over the tall reeds. "Aim just to the left of the sand trap," I said. "I can't see the damn sand trap," yelled Brett.

Hole 3: This par 3 didn't present us with much of a challenge, but it did provide the grounds for one of the best shots of the day. Brett took an unusual route to his par in round 3 after his tee shot hooked left and landed between two very large trees. Wanting to put all thoughts of luck aside, Brett called his shot; low punch between the tress, hitting the uphill side of the elevated green, then running 30 feet to the pin. Brett failed by only running the ball 25 feet to the pin, leaving him a 5 footer for a bad ass par.

Hole 4: Swan Point's "signature" hole, this was one of my favorite holes, both in terms of layout and scoring. I managed two pars and a bogey, without putting the ball into the water. My first par came after landing my 3rd shot right of the green. With the green running steeply away from me (taking the ball directly into the water), I flopped the ball to the closest edge of the green, and watched it run all the way down to within a foot of the pin. This marked the first of many solid flop shots on the day. This also marked the first of many wild life sightings, as an eagle was seen perched in the trees. Majestic creatures....simply breathtaking.

Hole 5: This hole was the first of back to back bastards, ranking as the #1 difficulty for me, and #3 for Brett. We both tended to shy away from the water on the left, but ended up over compensating and spent a lot of time looking for our balls in the woods on the right. My best drive on this hole was actually a topped 'stinger' landing 220 yards away. The second shot here is even more difficult, with the pin sitting on the right side of the green protected by both water and sand. Even worse, the green sloped steeply from left to right - which meant even taking the 'safe' route to the left side of the green produced a very scary downhill chip as water and sand waited on the other end. I put 2 balls into the water on my second round, one on the approach, and another on a flubbed approach coming off the drop. Bummer.

Hole 6: The second bastard messed with you in two ways; the first was on the tee box, which lines the hitter straight into the woods on the right side. Neither of us could find a way to aim left on this hole, repeatedly hitting into the woods. Of course, if the funky angle tee box didn't get you, the 20 foot high plateau green did. Guarded by sand on every side, this temple of Fail got us almost every time. I did have a memorable shot during the first round, hitting out of a very wet left side bunker, and putting enough loft on the ball to land on the green. The bonus was pulling this stunt off in front of one of the course marshal's who was riding around putting in the flag sticks (I forgot to mention we played the first 5 holes in the morning without flag sticks - Brett actually played better).

Hole 7: This marked a nice stretch of easier holes, with a dogleg left short par 4. After putting our first round balls into the woods to the right, Brett and I opted to fire left in an attempt to cut the corner. We found a lot of success down the left side and pulled a bunch of pars and bogeys - no birds though.

Hole 8: For a long par 3, this hole actually played rather easy. Brett flat out owned it, paring 3 out of 4 - although I don't think he made a single GIR (opting to lay up and play conservative). My lone par on this hole came off a sweet 4 iron starting at the right edge of the green, and moving to the left. I put the ball within 3 feet of the pin, but pulled a "Phil" and choked away my birdie by pushing the ball off to the right. Brett's best shot on the hole came in the 3rd round. After putting his tee shot into the left bunker, he fought off the wet sand (the bunkers were playing very wet and difficult all day) and put the ball within a foot for the sand save!

Hole 9: Another dogleg left requiring a carry over water. We managed to stay dry on this hole - although my 2nd round tee shot hooked left, and basically followed the edge of the water landing maybe a foot next to the water's edge (living dangerously!). As I mentioned above, the bunkers were playing wet all day long, and it wasn't until late into our second round / early third round that they started to dry out. I almost hit Carl Spackler on my 3rd round approach shot while he was draining the bunker with a mechanical pump.

Hole 10: The first hole on the back 9 is a short par 4 with some trouble down the right side. Brett's bogey in round 3 produced another memorable shot, as his drive found some thick rough down the right side. Not only was his ball in the thick rough, but the lie looked like a small drainage ditch. Stealing success from the grip of failure, Brett punched the ball out of the deep badness, and landed just left of the green.

Hole 11: The first of back to back par 3's, 11 & 12 played like night and day for us. Hole 11 is considered the #4 most difficult on the course, and for Brett it played exactly that way (one par, two bogeys and a double). I however, played the hole more consistently with three bogeys and a double (Brett = Better than me) and the hole ranked as #11 handicap hole for me. Brett did managed to put a tee shot within a couple feet of the pin, unfortuneately it was on a 'just for giggles' shot. We also saw some cool discovery channel action on this hole, as a crane plucked a sun fish out of the pond, proudly showing off his lunch to us as we drove past before choking it down like modenz mo.....wait....I'll keep this classy.

Hole 12: While I played bogey golf on number 11, the 12th flat out kicked my butt. Fortunately this 243 yard par 3 was playing from the up tee box, resulting in a more manageable 220 yard hole. Not that it made any difference for me, as I snapped my first tee shot Waaaaaay off to the left. On my second round I inadvertantly discovered the secret to success on the hole as I topped my drive causing me to "lay up" at the ladies tee box. From 100 yards out, I managed to put the ball on the green and 2 putt for my only bogey on the day. Brett played this hole very consistent, landing his tee shot on the right side (sometimes on the green, sometimes just off), and then two putting his way to bogey-town or par-ville.

Hole 13: Easily the biggest bastard on the back 9, Brett and I played the 13th with failing consistency. With a blind drive over the wetlands into a very narrow fairway, keeping the ball straight was essential - and impossible for Brett whose first 2 drives went left, and into the marsh. I, on the other hand, managed to land safe with my first two drives, only to 'skull' my second shot 100 yards to the left and into the marsh. F-U hole 13!! Also, Brett did managed to find his ball on the edge of the marsh in the first round, and attempted to punch out to the fairway. He was talking with CT while looking for his ball, and placed his phone down on the ground while he attempted his punch out. For whatever reason, he placed the cell phone directly in front of his ball, and the punch shot struck the cell phone not only causing damage to the phone (fail) but stopping the ball from reaching the fairway (fail).

Hole 14: While hole 13 owned Brett, he absolutely dominated #14 with three pars and a birdie. While difficult to reach in 2, a couple of smart shots at the front can set up an easy par or even a birdie opportunity at the back. Sadly, I couldn't find any smart shots, winding up too far right on my tee shots for any chance at making the green in regulation. Brett's birdie came in the final round after firing a drive down the left side, and striking a hybrid just in front of the right green side bunker. He pitched on in regulation and sank the putt for a smooth and easy bird.

Hole 15: The number 8 handicap hole on the course, I played this hole well with two pars - one of which should have been a birdie if not for yet another 'Phil' like moment of putting failure (3 footers for birdie need to fall). Interesting side note on this hole, as you approach the green there is a home with an awesome sun room (it almost looks like a restaurant). During rounds 2 through 4, each time we passed this house, we noticed the owner lounging out on the sofa with his feet in the air, watching his High Def TV. After a discussion, Brett and I decided we were living more of the dream because we were actually outside playing golf, but it was close. Well done, couch dwelling sir, well done.

Hole 16: This was easily my best driving hole on the day, as I crushed two of my longest drives here. Unfortuneately I only managed one par, as I could not find the green from 150 yards out (a theme with me lately). Brett also had some trouble with this hole, but in retrospect I don't recall him every really being in trouble (I believe he found the sand a couple of times). On our last trip around the course, we encountered an older couple who were just out taking shots at the green. They invited Brett into their home for a beer, but he wisely declined. We've all heard the stories of young men wandering into the homes of older people, only to be used as pagan sacrifices. It's a sad world in which live...

Hole 17: Another consistent failure for me, and a consistent winner for Brett. No matter how well I drove on 16, I wound up pulling the ball off to the right on 17 - and the tree placements all down the left blocked any shot at the green, thus leaving me with no choice but to punch out to the fairway. Of course, I never managed to punch out clean the first time, which meant I was laying 3 before I ever had a shot at the green. Brett however, managed to put his tee shot just in front of the fairway bunker every damn time. Despite the fact hole 17 was a short par 5 (488 yards) hitting the green under regulation was very difficult as hills and ridges protected the pin on both ends.

Hole 18: Hole 18 was a consistent winner for both of us, and had I not been so absolutely drained by the 4th round, I should have finished with no worse than a bogey. Brett and I both found GIRs in the first round (he sank his, I just missed mine), and both made one-putt pars in the second round. In fact, the second round marked the first time we really had to wait to hit our tee shots. We responded by absolutely pounding our drives to within 70 yards of the hole, causing those on the green to say "holy cow, those guys behind us are awesome, I feel shame for making them wait....oops, now I've gone and pee'd my pants."

Yay...I ended with a pee joke.

~Saps

Hi....Remember me?

I believe I said something about returning to finish the recap after a short break. Well, a month later, and I feel I'm ready to do some more recapping.

Actually that's not true at all. I really want to change the subject compeletly and recap the past weekend whcih included a 72 hole round at Swan Point, and a day spent boozing with Tiger woods at the AT&T National. Well, maybe not with Tiger - but he was there, and so were we - and with the amount of booze we took in, we could have played 9 holes with the guy and had no memory. So it's up to you to prove we didn't hang out with Tiger!

I promise I will one day return to recap all the hijinks from the Myrtle Beach 2009 experiance,
but for now you will just have to settle for the following video. A quick note on the man featured in the video. I rolled into Myrtle feeling strong and confident - my scoring average was down under 100 for the first time ever, and my index was under 20. After putting up a 113 and 116 on the first two days, I was more than dejected, I was distraught (see photo right). Thankfully, my playing parter on the first two days filled me with enough positivity and alcohol to get me though the rough times. Sheabone was the lone reason I didn't run sobbing into the woods, burrying my clubs so deep my failures would no longer see the light of day. Our typical conversation went something like:
Me: "I'm so sad right now."
Sheabone: "Beer Club?"
Me: "I'm so happy right now."

Of course, thanks to a soul crushing case of the snap-hooks, any happiness was always short lived - and while an average man would have said "to hell with your negativity Saps, you can deal with your issues on your own - stop crying like a baby!" My man Shea kept tossing over the coors lites and the positive vibes - and perhaps even more impressive was in between acting as my wet nurse, he was still able to put up shots like this:


PGA tour quality, my man!

~Saps