Golf is Hard...

...But where is it the most hard?


After watching 74 of the world's best golfers fire ball after ball into the water at Doral this past weekend (or in some cases attempt to assassinate the camera man), I thought to myself "Golly...I wonder which hole is our own personal 'Blue Monster.'  Well, unless you're Brett, who's personal 'Blue Monster' happens to be the actual 'Blue Monster,' Your 'Blue Monster' was probably encountered down in Myrtle, and more than likely you don't remember it because you were blacked out and/or shirtless.  Well, lucky for us, Brett has been collecting hole by hole data for the past 3 years...and lucky for you, I'm here to remind you just how badly you got your ass kicked by the golf course!

The List
Interactive charts???  What wizardry is this!  Yup, we've been working hard over the past year...not so much at our golf game, or writing skills, or professional development, or personal growth, or reconnecting with family, or really anything of actual substance.  No, we've been scouring the web for ways to make charts and reports.  I like charts and reports....charts and reports are cool.

Click on any of the holes below to see how the scoring breaks down.  Pretty cool, right?

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The Top 10 Holes from Hell!

I threw out the teaser question yesterday afternoon to the Facebook group, and as many of you correctly guessed, the hardest hole from the past 3 years was indeed #18 at Glenn Dornoch.  Slightly surprising however, was learning 3 of the top 10 hardest holes were at Glenn Dornoch and very surprising was seeing only one hole from the (overrated) TPC course  in the top 20.  Then again, I guess that's why they call it schpoople.....let's start from #10, shall we.


#10:  Thistle Golf Club - Mackay #7 (aka Stewart/Mackay #16)
         Par:  5
         Average Score over Par:  2.545

Looking at the yardage book, this looks like a ho-hum straight shot.....well that's just a load of crap.  In real life, unless you're able to hit a draw around a 45 degree angle, you're likely playing a "safe" tee shot to the corner, leaving you with 300+ to the green....with a waste bunker lining all down the right edge.  Oh, and you need to clear marsh / wetlands on the approach shot...just in case you felt froggy and wanted to attempt getting home in two.

   Caution: Actual course may kick your ass in real life

#9:  TPC of Myrtle Beach #9
       Par:  4
       Average Score over Par:  2.583

Warning: Dick habitat

We weren't the biggest fans of the TPC course in Myrtle, but then again we're not big fans of douche bag starters and asshole employees.  Getting an attitude from the starter after we had to wait an hour to tee off was a bad start, having the marshals escort one of our foursomes around the course to make we were up to the standards of play was over the top.  Still, there were some pretty sweet holes at this course, and #9 kicked our asses pretty good.  Another hole that doesn't look all that difficult in a yardage book rendering, but in real life it had some real dangers.  The water was very much in play down the right hand side (always a killer) and the multi-tiered green gave a lot of us fits.  Of course, since we started out on the back nine, the 9th hole played as the finishing hole for us.  After multiple altercations with the marshals, most people were just done with the course.

#8: Legends Golf Course - Mooreland #16
      Par:  4

     Average Score over Par:  2.586

For the life of me, I couldn't remember #16.  In fact, I had trouble finding it on the satellite map.  I absolutely recall the par 5 15th (with multiple water crossings), and I clearly remember the par 3 17th (surrounded by an ocean of sand)....but I simply did not remember this short, 223 yard par 4.  "Why couldn't you just hit an iron onto the green," I thought.  So I looked up my score, hoping to refresh my memory...and I took a 10 with 2 penalty strokes!  What the hell?!?  The absence of any recollection lead me to believe the hole was so damn hard that I completely buried my performance into the deepest recesses of my mind.  I reached out to Brett, asking him for any thoughts on this hole, and he responded "You mean 'Hell's Half Acre'....you don't remember that one?"  Ohhhhh noooo....the memories came back in a flood of pain...and I remembered...sweet baby Jesus...I remembered.  Do you see that brown 'waste bunker' running down the left side there?  That's a 10 feet deep ravine (maybe more).  That pot bunker in front of the green, it's easily 7 feet deep.  That 'open' area to the right runs downhill hard, and the green sits atop a postage stamp sized mound with sides so steep if you miss, you'll either find yourself back in the ravine, in a pot bunker, or rolling OB.  All things considered, I think i was pretty lucky with just taking 2 penalty strokes.  Ouch.

Warning: Memories of this hole are filed next to the time you saw your grandmother naked

#7:  Heather Glenn White/Blue #1
       Par:  4
       Average Score over Par:    2.625

This one really surprised me, because while I remember the course being challenging, I don't remember the opening hole as all that difficult.  Then again, I took a double on this hole and that meant I played it slightly better than average.  An uphill par 4 with a slight dogleg right, this hole was sneaky hard.  The approach shot required at least 1 extra club due to the hill, which brought the bunker guarding the front of the green into play.  There was also a hidden bunker right for anyone trying to hit the power fade around the corner.  Tough opener on a great course.

Caution: Sneaky Hard

#6:  River Hills Golf and Country Club #10
       Par:  4

       Average Score over Par:    2.636

We started our round on the back nine at River Hills, and from what I recall most of us either found trouble right, trouble left, or in some cases failed to make it across the water in front of the tee box.  Maybe it was the odd angles and sight lines on the hole, maybe it was all of the pressure of teeing off with a large gallery, or maybe it was Doug Barszcz whispering sweet nothings in our ear...whatever the reason we made this hole far more difficult than it was (only the 11 handicap hole on the course).

Caution: Doug Barszcz will cause you to loose golf balls

#5:  Prestwick Country Club #4
       Par:  4

       Average Score over Par:  2.643

There were a lot of mixed reviews of Prestwick, and while the green conditions left a lot to be desired, the course layout was interesting and left a lot of room for creative shot making and/or throwing up mozzarella sticks.  Number 4 was one of the more difficult holes on the course, requiring a water carry on the tee shot, and then bringing more water into play for the approach shot.  Tough little hole. 

Warning: Green conditions may cause rage in Mikoy's with the first name Chris 

#4:  Glen Dornoch #6
       Par:  4

       Average Score over Par:    2.688

The 4th and 3rd ranked holes were both found at Glen Dornoch....in fact they were found right next to each other.  Running up and down the inter-coastal, Glen Dornoch juxtaposes the raw natural beauty of the wetlands with the picturesque ascetics of lush fairways and rolling greens.  It also gobbles up golf balls like some sort of golf ball gobbling machine (Gobblo-tron 5000).  Number 6 at Glenn Dornoch is just one of many holes with a forced carry over the wetlands.  Breathtaking...yes.  Awe inspiring....yes.  Frustrating.....abso-friggin-lutely!

Caution:  This hole robble robbles golf balls like a certain someone robble robbles cheeseburgers

#3:  Glen Dornoch #5
       Par:  5

       Average Score over Par:    2.750

Lich was the only golfer to par this nasty bastard back in 2010, with the vast majority of us rocking a double bogey or worse.  While it's not overly long, reaching the green in 2 on this par 5 was almost impossible.  The dogleg left and marsh-land hazard really restricts the golfer's ability to be aggressive on the tee box.  Anything over 270 off the tee is flirting with trouble, and anything under that leaves 270+ yards to the green.....with water and bunkers guarding the green.  Of course, said water and bunkers make sure that even laying up isn't exactly a 'safe' play.  Reaching the green in regulation requires 3 perfectly executed shots...and firing 3 solid shots in a row is not really this groups specialty.  Unless you're talking about bourbon, but even then asking for 3 in a row without finding a hazard is a tall order.

Warning: Tequila and Jager like to fight

#2:  Long Bay #18
       Par:  4

       Average Score over Par:  3.182

Golfers will instinctively try to avoid the water on the right by aiming down the left hand side, but fail miserably in doing so 1.  In addition to having the water in play with the tee shot, the 90 degree dogleg right keeps the water in play on the approach...making sure that if you didn't lose a ball on your tee shot, you still have one more opportunity to suck before closing out the round.  Still, as a finishing hole this one has at least one great quality; a nice mound behind the green to sit back, pound whatever beers you have left, hang out with your "caddies" and watch the other groups fire balls into the drink.  Nothing erases personal golf course rage like watching someone else experiencing their own.

       Caution: Golfers finding the water on the tee shot are less likely to laugh at your drunken antics

1 So much failure on course resulted in much rage.  How much rage?  2 broken shafts and the windshield of the golf cart.  I'd like to think I've matured in the past couple years, but in reality I just can't afford to get the shafts replaced on my clubs anymore.

#1:  Glen Dornoch #18
       Par:  4

       Average Score over Par:    3.438

If I didn't love this course so much, I would hate it.  Seriously...look at that #$@ker!  Unless you're feeling confident enough to land your drive on the left side of the split fairway, you'll be looking at a 200+ yard approach shot by playing the "safe" option down the right side.  It's all risk reward, and no one from this group found the reward (0 par's in 2010).  If the 5th hole required 3 perfect shots to record a par, this bastard requires 3 perfect shots to secure a bogey.  Just freaking hard.

Warning:  Just pick it up and write down the "10"

I hope you've enjoyed this walk down memory lane - I know just looking at all these courses is getting me pumped up for the 2012 trip.  Like I said at the start, we've got a butt-load of stats and data collected from the past LBI tournaments, so look for more cool charts and more witty banter to come.


WORD!

~Saps

In One Week and Two Days, IT Will Only be Two Months Away

But who's counting?

Every year seems to whip around quicker and quicker. Some of don't mind that and some of us do. Whether you care about getting older or not, the one thing that can never come quick enough every year is the Lost Balls Invitational!

This past year, moreso than ever, has seen change:

• Ladd became a father.


• Troy had a second, didn't he? (as you'll see below, no one really knows)


• Nasar grew a mustache...no wait, he also became a father


• I moved a thousand miles away


• Lich stayed 3000 away

And that doesn't even get into the barrage of engagements we saw to close out the year and begin 2012:

• Moden


• Saps


• Hollandsworth


• Brett Todd Peter Pod

And then there was this...a hole in one caught on video

I have two burning questions as we approach the two month mark leading into the LBI:

1) Where the hell is the chatter?

2) Has anyone done anything at all to improve their games?

3) I know I said two, but how the hell did we get so old that we have an over 50 non-parent coming this year?

Question #1 I hope will be solved by posting this blog so I'll skip over that. And #3 is just a shot at Buddy Wilbanks who might need the Casey Martin rule and drive around with a special flag on his cart so he can go past the area where they generally allow carts to go.

So, effectively, there's one question to be answered, did anyone do anything to improve their games or are they just hoping for random luck and blackout drunkenness to guide them through LBI 2012. Honestly, that's not a terrible strategy.

Let's start with the crew who rarely to never posts a score to oob:

- Troy: Troy is the most elusive of all the wild animals at LBI. We don't hear from Troy for 11 months of the year. He pokes his head out to verify the cost and date, shows up, parties, loses his phone, has a great time and the disappears for the next 11 months. Along the way, there is ZERO postings from him on OOB.

- Moden: A two-time champion, Moden has struggled since being forced to post scores and to develop an actual handicap. is that said out of jealousy; yes, in large part. However, is it true that Moden has played just a single round since LBI 2011? In addition, not joining facebook is another suspicious activity. At least Lich can claim he's on top secret chupasquatch genetic mutational missions for the US Gov't.

- Ciarlo: are we really supposed to believe that Ciarlo has not played since late August?

- Nasar/Ladd: at least Ladd and Nasar can claim new fatherhood and the limitations that can put on your time to play.

- Jimmy: I don't even know if Jimmy knows how to spell oobgolf. You never see a posting of a score from him. But fresh off of a victory in Florida, he might be able to parlay that into success at LBI. But to me the question is was this an improvement in his game or Saps inability to stay away from the triple/quad combo.

- Lich: he's on the IR for LBI 2012 I've heard. He will take the place of Bos from last year. However, I'm putting him up here since we've seen a disappointing bout of results from Lich in the past few years. Once a force to be reckoned with, even with the completely unorthodox "aim 45 degrees right and hit it straight even though i don't believe any of you when you tell me i'm aimed 45 degrees right" sytle...

None of these can be expected to have improved their games at all since last year. Your best bet with this crew is whether or not they'll accumulate more pars or penalty strokes during the 4 round event.

Then there's the group who posts to OOB but who don't play too much. This is the majority of the group:

- Gabe: Gabe will always be a threat given his potential. However, will the multiple shotguns and jager shots undo him again this year? He doesn't get to play too much given his two children, but on any round, he could post a high 70s or a low 90s. Since LBI 2011 and my time living in Texas I've seen an increased consistency; though I will stop short of saying I've seen a marked improvement. It's raw skill at this point...

- Me: the one thing i have going for me is that I have not posted a round over 89 since August 2010. So my driving and irons have improved quite a bit. My issue at this point is putting inconsistency. My last three rounds, I have the following number of putts: 39, 27, 37. Overall, that means I've improved a little, but basically I've remained flat. I will say, however, as we get closer to predictions time I am feeling nowhere as good about my chances going into LBI 2012 as i was last year.

- Damon: pretty much repeat what I said about Gabe and copy it here. Damon is all raw skill. Never had a lesson; hell, rarely even wears golf shoes. Plays pretty infrequently and could go either way on any day.

- Rufus: Rufus wants to play. Rufus really wants to play. but he just can't seem to get out as much. It could be the kiddo; it could be something else. He's a bit of an enigma. However, he brings one of the best overall attitudes to the game. There's room for improvement in his game; a lot, frankly. And that's one thing that has puzzled me about Rufus. it seems as if he's got the athletic ability/potential, but it never seems to manifest. Which makes me wonder...is it mental?

- Barczhzczczczczhzcadfazcvz!#$: Another guy with plenty of room for improvement. I'm not going to go into anything else with Barz except his mental game. Go to oob and look at his rounds pre and post myrtle. most are in the low 100s. At LBI 2011, teens and 20s.

- Shea: And then there was Shea. How can anyone improve from 2011 LBI Champion status? It is a possibility though. A repeat carries a tall order of goodness to live up to. However, he's been actually working on a few things - so I've been told - and he's got a pretty reasonable mental resolve.

- Stevens: I'm hearing some buzz about Stevens this year. I'm thinking there will be some high predictions for him. It's been said by a couple people he's been seeking and listening to advice on some aspects of his game. Does he have the discipline mentally? Well, he's kept us all in the dark on his vocation for a decade now, so I'm saying yes.

The second to last group is the regular players: Brett, Saps, Mike, Bos, Hurricane, Tim

- Saps, if he can just figure out that golf is not the same as figure skating and not posting the triple, doubles all the time, he'll be in great shape.

- Brett, it's chuck. Always chuck. the question is will he post 4 rounds in a row in the 70s and then see chuck and post 2 in the 90s. I can't say whether his game has improved. i mean, personally, i hold a head to head lead of 9 matches. But overall, it's just a strong game that is tweaked too much.

- Mike: no one has more desire to improve than Mike. And he made major strides getting from about 40 down to 26. since then, however, it's been a struggle. Will he mentally do the things necessary to really improve? That's up to him...but with a wedding coming up, I am going to guess he has other places to spend than on Chuck.

- Bos: The only question I have for Bos is when are you going to get new clubs?

- Bryan/Tim: It's tough to actually improve when you're a 5 and a negative handicap. However, I've heard rumblings from Bryan that he's figured something out. Now my question is did he figure out how to prevent that pre-shot rountine from rivaling Ingwers???

The final group is the newbies. No Information available on this crew. I hear there's a guy named Hand. But that name sounds made up to me! When will this crew get an oob account and post their recent scores? Vegas rules require the oddsmakers to base their predictions on something...Let's get it done.

So, that's it for now. A basic overview that, now that I'm all done, tells me that no one has done much to improve for 2012. Did the time just slip away from us? Did we lose focus on improving in return for just getting out and playing? Did priorities change?

I don't know for sure, but I do know that we're mere weeks away from another LBI...and it can't come quickly enough!

word