- Bad case of the shakes (still visible after nearly 2 weeks)
- Urge to shotgun a beer at 9am
- Urge to shotgun a beer at 9:15am
- Urge to shotgun a beer at 9:30am
- Allergic reaction to shirts (no matter the material)
- Razor burn (from actually having to shave for the first time in nearly 5 months)
- Depression after I realize my alarm clock is not waking me up for a morning tee time
- Depression after I realize 18 holes on Sunday morning will not be followed up by 54 more, but rather a week of work
Sigh. It's taken me almost two full weeks to recover from my PMSs - and even now, I ain't right. Keep in mind I was out in Vegas the week before Myrtle, so I've got the syndrome extra bad. Now though, with my head starting to clear, I think it's time for the 2011 LBI recap!
Hyperbole is generally used in the opening sentence for recaps, but in this case I don't think I'm exaggerating - this was the best LBI yet! Part 2 of the statement - that was the most I've ever drank....ever. How much beer did I drink? So much beer that Jager tasted good. Things you aren't supposed to hear: "Mmmmm, man...that Jager was refreshing." There's a reason Gatorade doesn't make a Jager flavored sports drank....cause it's NOT refreshing. After two dozen or so shotguns however, even paint thinner would taste good.
It wasn't just the booze though - everything was fun (despite some dick-baggery by multiple marshals). I think it comes from the mix of seeing old friends, meeting new people, and seeing a very nude Dougie wandering our condo in search of his elusive keys (no Doug, they aren't under my bed...you don't have to bend over to look....oh god). Small tweaks each year, but the fun factor is always additive (never subtractivite). Personally, I think the addition of the "live leader board" was good-ish. I really liked being able to see the standings while out on the course (even though every time I looked, Shea was pulling further and further away). Keeping 3 sets of scores however, proved difficult and even impossible at times. Lessons learned for next year; Keep the score card clean, and worry about the leader board only when there's some down time. Since we have a full year before LBI 2012, I'm optimistic the leader board application will improve. If not, maybe I'll take some application developer courses at Strayer or Phoenix - get that shit set up right!
As always, the rookies made a strong impact - whether it be Tim taking the time to provide free lessons over 4 rounds (and shooting the first sub par round in LBI history), Jimmy polishing off a bottle of Jamison on the ride down, or Rob fighting through a wired jaw only to clean out the RV shitter (that's a man's man, right there!). You guys are great additions to the LBI, and I can't wait to see you out there again next year.
Of course, it wasn't all shotguns and naked dance parties - there was rage to be found. If there's an axiom from 2011, it's this; Never get between Hollandsworth and his cheese - and never mess with CT and a sub. There must have been some super-volcanic activity which was affecting the earth's electromagnetic field, because both CT and Mike fell victim to food related rage within hours of each other. Still, it's pretty remarkable that 20 guys can spend 5 days drinking a ton of booze, and the only real drama is over queso dip and surreptitious sub snacking. If that isn't a testament to the quality of people then I just don't know what is!
OK, OK, enough with the touchy feely, lovey dovey crap, get on with the recap! Tell us who won already. Well, in a general / cosmic way, we all won because he had a great time and shared memories (albeit fuzzy), but in a more specific way, it was Kevin Shea who won big at LBI 2011. We'll get to his recap in a bit, but first lets look at the rest of the field, starting with last place (and RV shitter emptier):
20. Rob Weining +58 net (projected finish: 17th)
What we said: "Rob has an excellent chance of posting solid scores, but with the liquid diet, he is prime for the rookie wall."
What happened was: Rob shook off a fractured jaw and came out of the gates firing low! He posted a net 69 on the first round, and found himself near the top of the leader board. Unfortunately, that rookie wall popped up faster than we expected, and Rob couldn't recapture the magic in rounds 2, 3 and 4. Unfortunately, while he was blowing up the score card, we were blowing up the RV bathroom. Never before has the last place finish paid such a high penalty. This year was especially 'yucky.' Like I said before though, rolling into Myrtle with a broken jaw is all kinds of manly. Well done, sir!
19. Doug Barzscz +55 net (Projected Finish 11th)
What we said: "Barzscz has the best chance to finish highest of the bottom 5, but his chin looks like a balls."
What happened was: Just give him a chance, he'll be your Doug. Nude Mr. Belvidere was playing very solid golf leading up to Myrtle, but never got it going on the golf course. Was it the mustache? Hell no, that thing was sweet and could only have enhanced his game! Some days, the ball just doesn't fly straight, or heterosexually. Mustache Jager!!
18. Troy Welck +48 net (Projected Finish 18th)
What we said: "If you’re betting on Troy, I recommend sticking with whether or not he leaves Myrtle Beach with a cell phone."
What happened was: Those betting on Troy to leave with his cell phone won big! Troy and Doug were both in the hunt after the first day at Legends - this despite some "trouble" getting out of the sand at Parkland. Thistle turned out to be his undoing, but all in all not a bad showing.
16 (T). Rufus Knight +37 net (Projected Finish 12th)
What we said: "Great short game, but yet to be seen if he can show any consistency."
What happened was: Consistency turned out to be the issue again - with net scores of 72, followed by an 87....then a 75, but backed up with an 89. On a positive note, I can personally attest to one monster drive he hit at TPC, which took a hop and and almost hit our cart. Unfortunately, we weren't parked in the fairway, and the hop took the ball into a stream. One step forward, two steps back :(
16 (T). Dave Nasar +37 net (Projected Finish 15th)
What we said: "Coming off back surgery, will good health be the X-Factor?"
What happened was: In his 3rd year, Dave finally found some consistency out on the course. Sure, he was consistently in the 'one-teens' but he was far less up and down than previous years. Leveling off is the first step towards lowing scores, so I don't think it will be long before Dave makes some noise in the LBI. For now though, a tie with fellow a UVA-er is a good finish.
15. Jason Lich +33 net (Projected Finish 2nd)
What we said: "No Ladd means more focus for Lich - look for his shrek-like dome to make a STRONG push"
What happened was: Was it the last minute addition of arch nemesis Ladd that caused Lich's demise? Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for Brian), it was the 2011 injury bug once again taking a bite out of the competition. Lich suffered a pretty nasty sprained wrist on the first day (even requiring a 4am trip to Myrtle Urgent Care....which may be the most honest name for a brothel I've ever heard) but still managed to avoid the DNF. After the cortisone injection failed to do the trick, we tried some 'home remedies' to fix the busted wing. 11 shotguns into the round at Thistle, Lich's arm was still hurting, but at least the man was smiling. Until the lawn mower fired up behind us.
14. Jimmy Flynn +30 net (Projected Finish 20th)
What we said: "He'll without a doubt make NOISE on the course, but bet hard for the DNF"
What happened was: 5 mins after his arrival it looked as though those betting the DNF were in for a mighty pay day. "Weary" from the long drive, Jimmy looked as though the marathon 36 hole day one could be the end - but he shocked us all by playing....and playing well. Finishing in the top 15 in a strong field...as a rookie...which ain't bad t'all.
13. Damon Mikoy +28 net (Projected Finish 3rd)
What we said: "The more you know him, the more you get what you don't expect"
What happened was: So....we must know him very well? Damon was our 2nd biggest miss when we put together the rankings....and since I didn't play with him, I can't say for sure what happened. Jet lag? Beer Clubs? Zombie Bite? More electromagnetic disruptions from super volcanic activity?
12. Matt Moden +27 net (Projected Finish 8th)
What we said: "The best thing about Moden is waiting to see what he'll do"
What happened was: Turns out the answer was 'cause havoc.' Other than climbing a tree to retrieve multiple clubs, driving a golf cart into a bush, playing an entire back nine shirtless, and being projected from a moving golf cart, Moden was pretty calm this year. He didn't miss the top 10 by much, and other than the 2nd 18 at Legends he played some good golf.
10 (T). Chris Stevens +25 net (Projected Finish 16th)
What we said: "If he goes on a run here and there, Stevens could edge a little higher in the standings"
What happened was: Stevens came out of the gates firing a net 70 in his first round of the LBI, and played solid over the remaining rounds. The result was his first top 10 finish for our very own "International Man of Mystery."
10 (T). Matt Sapsford +25 net (Projected Finish 10th)
What we said: "The game has improved over the past year, but so has the field.....should be able to hold on for a top 10 finish."
What happened was: I have to admit...I may have had one or two drinks out there on the course. Following a decent (though unimpressive) opening round 93, I took the express train to pound town. Maybe my scores weren't anything to brag about, but surviving rounds with Shea & Moden (9 Shotguns, 1 Jager shot each), Lich (11 Shotguns each - current LBI record) and Mustache Barz (multiple mustache Jager shots) and still finishing in the top 10 is perhaps my proudest LBI moment. A note on the 'epic-ness' of the Thistle round. After clearing out the empty cans from my side of the golf cart, Lich directed the beer cart girl to the back of the cart - where he'd been hiding his empties. Upon seeing the carnage, she muttered under her breath "oh my god." You suckers wanna know why you didn't see her on the back 9? We done bought all her booze!
8 (T). Chris Mikoy +20 net (Projected Finish 1st)
What we said: "The magic 8-ball says this is the year."
What happened was: Maybe it was sub-shop karma, or maybe it was the stress of living up to the #1 ranking....or, maybe chalk another one up to super volcanic activity causing fluctuations in the earth's electromagnetic field. Whatever the reason, CT bookended two solid rounds (82, 82) with mediocre scores (86, 88). The real crusher was not that CT failed to take the LBI crown, but that he tied Brett in the overall standings....which totally killed some of the side action between me, Hollandsworth and Shea. Booooooooo!!!
8 (T). Brett Mikoy +20 net (Projected Finish 5th)
What we said: "Monsieur Brett est l'un des golfeurs les plus constants dans le groupe LBI."
What happened was: Another guy who came out of the gates firing. Brett had every intention of going toe to toe with Tim - his opening round 75 was a strong statement. But then suddenly, booze, and lots of it. Brett's 2nd round 93 all but killed his chances at back to back champ - but he still had a chance for the CT vs Brett bet.....and he would have won me some money!! They were tied after the first day, then they tied on the 3rd day...then they shot dual 88's at TPC. Way to make it interesting douches.
6 (T). Bryan Mikoy +15 net (Projected Finish 13th)
What we said: "Last year we had him ranked really high, and he failed to live up to his single digit handicap."
What happened was: They say it takes about a year to play up to your handicap, and it looks like once again, 'they' are correct. Where last year Bryan struggled to play up to his potential, this year he rolled in calm and confident. Never mind a couple club tosses here and there.
6 (T). Gabe Castro +15 net (Projected Finish 7th)
What we said: "Role model, mentor, lover of all things rose`....GaYb is a lock for the top 10"
What happened was: There's not a lot of room for error when you play as a single digit handicap. Gabe fired well all week, and with his even par front 9 at TPC looked to be in the hunt for the title. T-6 in a strong field, as a low handicapper is an impressive finish to be sure.
5. Brian Ciarlo +14 net (Projected Finish 9th)
What we said: "He'll shoot on his average, or slightly better....but he'll need someone to fall off if he's going to finish in the top 5."
What happened was: Turns out the only person who fell off was Ciarlo! He was in the low to mid 80s all week, until the last day. He would have needed to fire real low in order to have a shot at the top 3, so the 95 probably didn't hurt him too badly. All in all, a welcome return to the top 5 for Ciarlo, and a well played 2011 LBI.
4. Brian Ladd+12 net (Projected Finish n/a)
What we said: "Lets just not tell Ladd we're going this year, and maybe we can make it down there without him."
What happened was: No No, we didn't say that at all. Ladd was actually a last minute substitution, pulled in after the injury bug claimed the hamstring of Pat Shea. Rolling down without any real mental or physical preparation, Ladd played extremely well - posting his first sub 100 round at Myrtle. He also managed to capture Moden's tree climbing failure on vide,o in addition to creating another sweet opening shot video montage. That's back to back years of solid video contributions (if you include HD Shirtless Par 3 as a 'positive').
3. Mike Hollandsworth+4 net (Projected Finish 19th)
What we said: "With that high of a handicap, it's tempting to put him up as a contender....It'll be another battle for last place, but he's working hard to get his average in line with his handicap."
What happened was: On paper, this was the biggest shocker of the LBI....but then again, for those following Mike on the OOB, we've been seeing all of his hard work paying off. Over the past 6 months, the scores have gone down dramatically. Check it out: 143 (Oct), 126 (Nov), 123 (Dec), 135 (Feb), 120 (Mar), 116 (Apr), LBI 2011 Avg: 114.5. I'll admit, I hand picked those numbers to highlight the trend, but the improvement is very impressive. Then again, maybe he owes his improvement to performance enhancing drugs. There were multiple reports of rage - and hulk like aggression against a window. Time to pee in the cup, sir!
2. Tim Slough +2 net (Projected Finish 6th)
What we said: "can a near scratch golfer compete in the LBI amongst the debauchery and bafoonnary?"
What happened was: Why yes, apparently he can. Tim not only brought the noise, but he brought the funk too! Including this year, we've only seen 6 sub-80 rounds at the LBI - and Tim is responsible for half. Want more? He was the first golfer to post a sub-par round at the LBI....and the whole time offering tips and pointers to those in the group. Well done, sir...you've set the bar pretty high after your first tournament. Next year, we need to implement the Sluggo rule. Every 3rd tee hole - either beer club, or 'dizzy bat' before the tee shot....your choice. It's either that, or you get paired up with Shea all 4 rounds. We need to level the playing field somehow!!!
1. Kevin Shea +1 net (Projected Finish 4th)
What we said: "Handicap is high, but scoring average is coming down. This could be the year Shea cracks Top 5."
What happened was: In between shotgunning beers and moving like Bernie, Shea posted an 84 and an 85 - absolutely CRUSHING me in our head to head bet. "Race Track Red" helped me pay off my debt on Saturday night (I conceded the bet after 3 rounds), which may have contributed to Shea's final round 101. Still, even with the Sunday slide, Shea held on for the 1 stroke lead. Worth noting, when Brett won in 2010, he was borderline blackout throughout the week. Shotgun Shea was just as, if not more, inebriated during his LBI run (also note, they both won with matching 287 net scores). Could Tim or Mike have taken the title had they drank a little more on that final day? Well, they've got a year to second guess their actions - while Shea has a year to celebrate with the cup! Congratulations to the big guy for a hell of a run.
I know I'm probably omitting a ton of great stories from this recap - like chowing down HARD at that BBQ buffet - and I haven't had a chance to look through any pictures, but that just means we'll have more to add later! Once again, a very sincere thank you to Brett for organizing everything each year. I meant what I said about this year being the best so far - which just means things will keep getting better. LBI 2015 - Hooters sponsorship. 2017 - Gold Club Sponsorship!!! 2020 - Flying RV's (like from Space Balls)!!!!
BTW, did you all see the 'gator at Thistle?
~Saps
