Excuses

Fact:  Myrtle ended 2 weeks ago, and there have been no updates recapping the events.

Myth:  I've been too lazy to update the blog with the recaps.

Reality:  I've been a little preoccupied:  

Events since we returned from Myrtle Sunday Night / Monday Morning along with impacts to Mental Health & Stress Levels (MH), Physical Health (PH) and Nutritional Health (NH).  Please note all of these impacts are IN ADDITION to the already dangerously high numbers from Myrtle Beach.

• Woke up at 6:30am for work on Monday Morning giving me right around 4.5 hours of sleep on the night:  -10 MF, -10 PH
  
• Tuesday & Thursday:  Late afternoon meetings with VP plus 2 Directors lasting until 8PM:  -10 MH
  
• Wednesday - Cinco De Mayo = Drinks and Chili Dogs at the Vienna Inn w/ coworkers.  -50 NH
  
• Tuesday - Thursday - constructed high priority briefing pulling data from multiple sources (primarily my a$$).  Diet consisted of Coffee and the occasional sandwich with a side order of more coffee: -10 MH, -50 NH
  
• Thursday night - I do 3 pull ups: +1 PH
  
• Friday Morning - Blew off work and drove to Baltimore to pick up Doyle from the airport on Route to Atlantic City.  Before we picked up Doyle we hit up the Blue Moon Cafe (as featured in Food Networks' Diner's Drive-Ins & Dives ).  I eat the Hobo Scramble which consists of Eggs, Hashbrowns, Cheese, Green Peppers, Onions, Chorizo Sausage and served with a buttermilk biscuit.  I eat the whole thing and wash it down with 2 cups of coffee.  -50 NH, +50 MH
  
• Pick Doyle up from the airport and then RETURN to Baltimore in order to eat at another dive featured on the Food Network.  We head to Mother's Federal Hill Grille for the "Heart attack on a plate " - 8oz burger with bacon and cheese, beer battered and then deep fried.  -200 NH, +50 MH
• As we continue north to Atlantic City, the following conversation takes place:

Doyle:  How much longer
Me:  Not too much longer, maybe an hour and a half.  We're almost out of Maryland
Doyle: Yeah, but we still have to go through Delaware
Me: Delaware is nothing, we'll be out of there in 10 mins

As we approach the toll plaza, my buddy doesn't notice the woman in front slowing down.  He slams on the breaks, but we are too close - collision is eminent.  I was in the passenger seat with my shin resting on the dash (my seat was way up as to give a little more room to the guys in the back).  At impact, my shin was slammed against the dash, leaving a huge swollen bruise which still hurts to the touch.  My sombraro, which was resting atop the dash, was pulverized to confetti as the air bags deployed.  Thankfully, these were the only significant injuries.  -100 PH, -500 MH

• Delaware State Trooper piles the 4 of us (Me, Jody, Doyle, Hollandsworth) into the back of his cruiser along with all of our luggage. He drops us off at a Howard Johnson where we call enterprise to come "Pick our a$$es up."  3 hours later, we exit Delaware.  +10 MH
• Doyle spends the rest of the weekend sarcastically saying "10 mins in Delaware, eh?":  -50 MH
• Spend the next 12 hours drinking and gambling.  Eat "dinner" around 5AM.  Walk back to the Tropicana along the boardwalk as the sun is rising.  -50 NH, -50 PH, +50 MH
• Eat "breakfast" at Hooters.  Grilled Cheese w/ Bacon and Cheese Fries.  1st beer is consumed at 11am.  -50 NH, +50 MH
• Quick Summary of Events in AC:
• Beer is used to get over our hangover:   -10 NH
• For lunch we decide to eat something healthy, so we order a daiquiri: -15 NH
• I try to eat a healthy dinner and order grilled fish. It tastes good. +10 NH
• We ask the bartender "what shot would you recommend for 5 guys who are recovering from a hangover, and just starting to feel better. She replies "Jameson." We settle for Jager-Bombs, which are actaully cups of Jager with a splash of Red Bull. -50 NH, +50 MH
• $9 40oz of Bud-Lite. I drink 3 and for the first time all day feel like I'm ready to party. -100 NH, +100 MH
• We find out the bartenders are only 18 and one is still in High School. The Adam Good Sports Bar (@ The Trop) offers $20 Body Shots. We pay $40 to see the bartenders take shots off each other. We feel dirty. +100 MH
• We hit the BYOB strip club. My buddy Brian buys a case of Bud Lite "tall boys." We ask him why he bought tall boys. He responds "why not." We drink most them, and what we don't finish, we take across the street to Baliey's Wild West Casino. -100 NH
• I spend 4 hours sleeping on the floor of the Hotel: -50 MH, -100 PH
• We checked out of the Hotel and rolled back to Delaware in order to return the rental car by 1PM. We cut it close: -50 MH
• We learn the rental car place closes at 2PM and not 1PM: -50 MH
• We spend an hour waiting for the guys at enterprise to check us in, and give us a ride to AVIS, where we will rent another car: -50 MH
• We realize we've almost spent as much time in Delaware as we did in our hotel room: -100 MH
• I get home, shower, then head straight over to my parents' for Mother's Day dinner. I am tired. -100 PH, -50 MH
• I wake up at 6:30 for work knowing I have to finish the briefing. -50 MH, -50 PH
• The so called "high priority" briefing is sent out. No one responds. I become frustrated and decide if it's no longer such a high priority, I'm going to blow off work and play in a golf tournament on Tuesday. +100 MH
• I leave work and head to the range. The sky is dark. I try to make it to the range before the rain. I pull up just as they skies open up. I utter a word I vowed never again to repeat. "Fail." -150 MH
• I fill in for my co-worker's son. He is a 4 handicap. The morning round is individual score, with a max per hole of double bogie. I shoot a net 96. I don't feel good about my chances. -10 PH, -50 MH
• I play well in the afternoon scramble. The snap hooks are all but gone (the slice showed up towards the end, but I believe that was just due to fatigue). I hit some monster drives and a few solid irons. We finish -10, not enough to win, but respectable. I feel like I want to play golf again! +500 MH
• Dinner is provided after the round. BBQ Pork and Fried Chicken. -100 NH
• I get home at 9PM, and fall asleep on my couch. I am full impact of the past 2 weeks seems to hit me all at once. -50 PH, -50 NH, -50 MH

I do all of this while STILL rocking a mustache! +1,000,000,000 EVERYTHING!!!

Excuses over - recaps to follow shortly....

Saps