Simple Math

I've talked with many beginners about their fears of playing golf with low handicappers, and the most common response I hear is they don't want to be embarrassed. While this is understandable, it's also complete crap. Low handicappers really don't care how poorly you play. In fact, the reason someone is able to consistently shoot in the 70s or 80s is because they are really focused on what they are doing. No, what annoys a low handicapper is not how many balls you fire into the woods, it's the time spent looking for the balls you fire into the woods. Nothing kills a round of golf faster than slow play. It's the age old adage: if you're going to suck, suck fast.

"That's total BS," you're probably saying "I've seen low handicappers looking for their ball in the woods. In fact, I've played with guys who spend what seems like forever before they give up and take a penalty stroke. It's not fair."

There's a reason low handicappers are "allowed" to spend a few minutes looking for a lost ball - they're better at golf! Take a breath and relax, I'm not advocating any kind of golfer elitism. Much like Ferris Bueller, I don't condone ism's. It's really a matter of simple math. A low handicapper might take as many as 20 to 30 fewer strokes than a beginner. If the two golfers finish the round in the same time, the beginner must play faster in order to pack those extra strokes into the round.

And now for some math...

Let's take an "average" round of 4 hours and 45 minutes or 285 minutes. In order to play 18 holes in this time, a golfer needs to play each hole in a little under 16 minutes. Looking at it another way, an average course comes in around 6,600 yards - to cover this distance the golfer needs to average 1 yard for every 2:35 seconds.

So:

For an average par 3 ~180 yards, you would assume 7 minutes and 46 seconds

For an average par 4 ~380 yards, you would assume 16 minutes and 25 seconds

For an average par 5 ~500 yards, you would assume 21 minutes and 35 seconds

Are you with me so far? Pretty basic, but now we're going to toss in a couple of wrinkles. You see, the time assumption can't be applied so simply since the majority of time on each hole is taken on the tee box and on the putting green. We're assuming it splits thusly:

10% of the time is spent on the tee box

40% of the time is spent between the tee box and the green

50% of the time is spent on the green

Let's go back to our initial estimate of 16 minutes per hole (4 hours 45 minutes / 18 holes). Using the assumptions identified above, you would see the following:

~1.5 minutes on the tee box

~9 minutes on the green

~6.3 minutes between tee and green

Over the course of a 4 hour and 45 minute round, the average golfer will spend around 28 minutes on the tee boxes, and 143 minutes on the greens.

Oh, and you still need to get from the tee to the green. For this exercise we'll assume the use of golf carts with an average speed of 12 miles per hour or 21,120 yards per hour or 352 yards per minute. Now, lets also take that average course length of 6,600 yards and gross it up by 10% (since you rarely go from the tee box to the green in a straight line), which gives us an estimated driving distance of 7,260 yards. In a golf cart traveling 352 yards per minute, the average golfer will spend 28.6 minutes driving around the course.

So now we've got:

28 minutes on the tee box

143 minutes on the greens

28 minutes driving in the golf cart

Subtotal: 191.6 minutes

All of this leaves a little over 93 minutes to reach the green after you've left the tee box!

But wait, there's more. Since a par 3 only requires a tee shot to reach the green (or at least the area around the green), we'll take them out. Assuming the average course has four par 3's, we'll take those remaining 93 minutes and divide them by the remaining 14 holes, giving us 6.7 minutes.

What does that mean? Simply put, in order to finish a round of golf under the 4 hour 45 minute mark, a golfer has less than 7 minutes to get to the green once they leave the tee box on each hole.

Based on a golfers handicap, we can assume the following:

Handicap: Avg Number of Shots to Reach the Green:

0-5 1.0

6-10 1.5

11-15 2.0

16-20 2.5

21-25 3.0

25+ 4.0

Here's where all that complicated math gets simple. Since the low handicapper will probably only require 1 or 2 shots to reach the green. This means they can can take the time to look for the occasional ball in the woods. The law of averages says that if they spend 5 minutes looking for a ball on one hole, they'll make that time up somewhere along the round. The high handicapper on the other hand, will have to cram 3 or 4 shots into that 7 minute window - which means they simply don't have time to spend looking for a ball.

Here's a graph:

Whereas the low handicapper can spend the full 7 minutes on the shot, a 25+ golfer will need to average under 2 minutes per shot. That doesn't leave much time for practice swings, club selection, shot gunning beers, looking for lost balls, apologizing to home owners, and filling out insurance forms. If your handicap is in the 20s or even if you're a 10 to 15, you just don't have time to mess around out there. If you're worried about losing balls, either buy cheaper balls (there are a lot of good ones out there) or get better. When you hit a ball into the woods, give it a quick look, then take the drop and penalty. Heck, the penalty stroke is probably going to HELP your scorecard rather than spending 4 strokes trying to punch out of the woods.

There you have it, mathematical proof that if you are going to suck, suck fast. So to all you beginners out there, the next time your low handicap buddy invites you out, take him up on the offer. No one minds playing with beginners, so long as they don't kill the round with slow play.

~Saps