2012 LBI Pre-Rankings!

Countdown: 
Noun
A period of increasing tension and excitement as one approaches an event horizon.

Can you guys feel it?  LBI 2012 is JUST around the corner.  A mere 4 days before RV departure....just 5 days before the practice round....and in 6 days.....6 days, we will be on the course, sipping beers, knocking down pars, dropping birdies, and doing all things awesome!  I'm pumped up.  Hell, I'm beyond pumped....I'm uber-pumped.  That's German...and you know if I'm speaking German, I'm serious.

Now that the pairings are official, we've gone through and created a set of pre-rankings based on past performance, current skills, and just wild guessing.  Last year we issued a set of pre-rankings as well, and we missed on damn near every projection.  Will be do better this year?  My gut says maybe, but my heart says perhaps.  The rankings are a 3-way average between the AP poll, Coaches Poll, and a Computer Statistical Model (i.e. Robot).

Please note, the individual write-ups were done by CT.  Yes, Brett and I helped here and there, but if you want to punch someone in the nose, he's your man.  Tossing people under the bus....that's how we do it here in the central office!

26: Troy
We all want Troy to win, and I don't know why he struggles.  A couple of lessons here and there might help him stand a chance.  Until then, he's going to show up, have fun, and enjoy his time.

25: Doyle
I have only one round in the books with Doyle, and I don't remember it being a strong one.  However, he's a slim guy.  Not sure how that helps him win, but Moden is slim and he's won before.  Doyle will also be spending time with some veterans in the RV...but then again those veterans are Hollandsworth, Shea and Saps...also known as DNF, Blackout and the Mental Midget.  It's not looking good for the rookie.

24: Barz
Oh Noooooooooo.  Barz still needs to figure out how to harness his inner power.  Until then, it's just going to be a struggle.  It'll be a drunken (and likely mustached) struggle though, so be sure to enjoy the ride (mustache ride).

23: Nasar
Has Nasar spent any time at Chelsea pier this year?  Nooooope....he just had a bebeh, and has spent more time changing stinky diapers than working on his swing.  Still, while he may not have been working on his short game, I'm sure his newly acquired "cleaning up vomit" skills will come in handy at least once.

22: Pat
Is the hamstring healed?  This year is a do-over for Pat, having injured himself the week before last year's LBI.  He's a rookie, but he's also a Shea. That's like saying you're a Mellon!

21: Jimmy
Will the pga-tough like gallery from last year's Thistle round help turn him into a hardened veteran.  Will his win on the Orlando mini-tour teach him how to close?  Uhm....no.  Chris doesn't like Jimmy's chances for victory.  Chris thinks Jimmy needs to focus on something other than soccer.

20: Hand
Who had the better beard; Charton Heston in "Spartacus" or Tom Cruise in "Tropic Thunder?"  Trick question dummies, the answer is Jason Hand on the Santa Crawl.  Can he golf?  For sure.  Can any rookie actually be prepared for the LBI Tour?  No way.

19: Rufus
I've heard rumors the right-to-left action has been reduced lately.  If this is true, then he's got a good chance to finish above this spot.  What I really want to know though, is just where the hell are all these courses I see Rufus enters into Oob?!?!

18: Rob
Last year, last place....emptier of the RV shitter.  That's motivation enough to stay out of the bottom...and now that he's past year-one, he should be able to settle in for a middle of the road finish.

17: Shea
Oh, the 2-stroke penalty hurts.  Shea's game has actually been improving since last year's victory - and if he can find away to actually play the correct fairway (or even stay within 30 yards of if), then maybe he still has an outside chance.  Putting.  Caddies.  Discuss...

16:  Hollandsworth
Shooting a 111 to close out the 2011 LBI would have sealed the victory.  Instead, Mike shot a 114.  Will he bounce back this year, or will he be left wishing he still had that max handicap.

15: Stevens
I've heard rumblings about a Stevens' victory for a few months now.  He seems to be a popular sleeper pick, and if the mental game can come around, he's got a solid chance.

14: Luke
I don't know anything about Luke except it took him 60 seconds to say he was in just 2-weeks out, and that he's a fairly new golfer with manic tenancies....such as having Bryan re-shaft his clubs one week before Myrtle.  Let's hope he makes better decision out on the course.

13:  Saps
Saps has been costing me money in bets for tow years now.  I KNOW he's got it in him...and by "it" I mean a chip placed by the Umbrella corp to make sure melts down anytime the game is on the line.  As soon as he yanks the tooth that chip is in, I'll predict a victory....but not until.

12:  Buddy
He'll drink with anyone.  He can play with most, but he loves only one.  A candidate for "most interesting man" award......he doesn't always drink on the course, but when he does, he prefers to get everyone around him hammered.

11:  Moden
The two-time champ hasn't necessarily faded into the sunset.  Moden keeps hanging right around that top-10 mark, but I just don't see enough oob rounds to justify making a championship run.

10: Lich
Aim 45 degrees right, then just close your eyes and see what happens.  Lich is a wild card; once one of the strongest golfers in the LBI field but the last two years have plagued his reputation.  Maybe it's due to nagging injuries (shoulder / wrist) but more likely it's his growing obsession to document an actual Sasquatch sighting.  The shoulder is healthy (healthier), could we see the return of the Lich of old?

9: Damon
D has actually been putting in some time on the course this year, with some serious dedication.  For a big man, he hits it as straight as anyone.  Unfortunately he falls in the CT, Ciarlo category of blowup holes.  If he can keep those blow ups in check, I'm thinking he has a chance.

8: Bos
Former champion, new clubs, virtual year layoff.....total wildcard!  His rounds leading up to the LBI haven't been stellar, but maybe Myrtle is where he puts it all together.

7: CT
I don't know what to say.  Just like Ciarlo and Damon, I always seem to find one or two blow up holes that derail my chances.  Going into this year, I've played the least amount of golf ever.  But I tell you this; if I can keep it near the fairway and putt decently....I've got a chance.

6: Bryan
No one has made more improvement over the years....and this year could actually be the one in which he plays at or to his potential.  The days of throwing clubs are behind him and his game is rock solid.

5: Ciarlo
I feel like we say the same thing every year.  Eliminate the two or three blow up holes, and he's your champeeeen.  Is this the year?

4:  Gabe
Gabe was solid last year and played solid through more shotguns than he's ever done in his life.  Last year he just missed a top 5 finish.  This year he makes it....and makes a strong push for the overall win.

3:  Ladd
That handicap is looking awfully high.....and a pre-myrtle round in the low 90s significantly effected the odds makers here.  Looking like a strong favorite for 2012.

2: Brett
Every year, no matter if he's playing great of terrible going into Myrlte, he always finds a way to compete.  His secret coach isn't Chuck will....it's Gerg!

1: Tim
I don't know about you, but I think Shea must have paid Tim to take a dive last year.  71, 74, 70....80?????  Well, if not a payoff then maybe Tim just couldn't handle more than 0 shotguns.  either way, I don't see how anyone can take him down.

So there you have it...this year's pre-rankings.  Let the smack talking and side bets begin!!!

~Saps