Twas the Night before Blasters

'Twas the night before Blasters, with clubs in the car

Golfers were sober, with high hopes of par;
The irons sat idle in trunks dark and cold,
In hopes that their owners would take lines that were bold;

The players were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of birdies danced in their heads;
And Falls Road with her course, Greens keeper in caps,
Had just settled down for a long cool nights nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
A Captain in hand, Shea emptied his bladder.
Away from the window I flew like a flash,
Tore down the stairs and grabbed extra cash.
The moon on the breast of the new chance to win,
Blasters '13 was about to begin.

When, what to my wondering eyes was going to be,
But a box with some tape, labeled 38 shorts of Tini,

With all buttons popped,  stained with green grass,
I knew in a moment, no room for his ass.
More forming than spandex his shorts were so tight,
He'll show us and wear them, even to bed Thursday night.

"Now, Saps! now, Thunder, now, Jody and Brett!

On, Shea! On, Tini, on Moden and Rob!

Now, buddy, now, Ladd, now, golfers unknown!

Now blast away!  Blast away!  Blast away all!!

As dry livers that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a long carry, the balls to the sky.

So up to the club house the course covered in dew,

With bags full of shotguns, a handle of bourbon too.

And then, in a twinkling, the group started to drink

Knowing in hours their game was bound to stink.
The golfers were ready fresh with desire,
with Sheabone always searching, caddie's for hire;

A bundle of 1's he strapped to his back,
he looked through the establishment, seeking the largest rack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled! He resembled the Fonz!
Again he landed, the great Modenz Momz!

They sprang to their carts, to their teams with glee,

hold on one moment, we forgot Tini.

But I heard him exclaim, feet wide in his stance,

One again, Dammit!  There's a rip in my pants!

As greens that last week, were covered in snow,

The music began , they want us to go,

Blasters '13 began with a bang,

Beer club kicked off for the rest of the gang.

9 holes, two teams, and a tournament winner,

BBQ and beers they'll serve us for dinner.

Blast one, blast all, blasting to be

How many black outs; one, two, or three!