Much anger in you, I see...

To borrow a quote a man far more wise than I:

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to suffering."

For the Jedi, fear is the path to the dark side. For us golfers, our all consuming rage is the path on which the dark side is paved. I just got off the phone with the club repair guy, and for the first time in nearly a year, my round this weekend will feature a 5-iron.

I know rage well.

Nothing angry's up the blood quicker than golf. Maybe this is because golf is the only sport where there is nobody else to blame for failure.

• A good baseball player will fail 7 times out of 10....which is perfectly acceptable when you consider there are 9 dudes trying to make you fail - one of whom happens to be hurling the ball towards you at 90 miles per hour.
• A good running back will average 4 yards per carry. 4 yards?!?! Are you kidding?!?! You know how when you pick your head up mid swing, and you hit a little topper that just kinda rolls in front of you. Then you put your head down, walk a couple steps and try to hit the ball again? Yeah...that ball probably went 10 yards....we're talking 4 yards here! Again, this is perfectly acceptable considering a running back is taking on a bunch of 300 lbs dudes all with intent to do physical harm.
• Tennis players stare down 100+ mph serves and have to wear tight shorts.
• Sky divers have to fight gravity.....gravity! That's like the strongest force on earth!!

Of course, just because we golfers don't have anyone to directly blame for our failures doesn't mean we can't act like irrational jerks.

• Ball lips out of the cup resulting in a 3-putt; "#$@& YOU BALL!!!" (Followed immediately by the long toss into the woods)
• Club hits fat; "#$&@ing CLUBS!!!!" (Followed shortly by either the club toss, or the ever popular 2-handed overhead club slam)
• Ball lands between two clumps of grass; "Piece of @#&$ DOG TRACK COURSE!!" (Usually followed with "The hell if I'm gonna rake these traps....")
• Tee shot slices into woods; "#&$@ those guys in front of us....PACE OF PLAY @$$holes!!!!." (Followed by lots of pouting)

Why is it so hard for us to let go of this rage and accept the fact that golf is just really really hard! Maybe a handful of people in this world can make a golf ball do what they want it to do. They are not of our world..they are aliens. They also practice or play 7 days a week...perhaps more. I'm lucky to get out twice a week. We've also got a lot going on in our lives. We have job troubles, we have girlfriend issues, we have kids. There is no way we can focus 100% of our attention on 100% of our shots. It just ain't realistic.

...and yet the rage is there with every duffed shot and every missed putt. No one to blame but our own lack of skills, lack of focus, and lack of commitment to the game. Nothing to blame...except perhaps for a 5-iron. During last year's Myrtle Beach golf fiasco I was stricken with a case of snap hooks which could best be considered as "soul crushing." Every tee shot -- snap / O.B. Every second shot, snap / O.B. Like Eyjafjallajokull, the rage boiled within, ready to erupt. On the third hole of the second round I blew. With Bos at the wheel, I kicked out the windshield of the golf cart. I mean, I kicked it completely off the cart (we had to borrow a screwdriver from a maintenance guy to put it back in). On the back nine I snapped the ball into someone's back yard, and lost it again. Like a deranged lumberjack I hacked away at my golf bag, snapping the 5-iron in the process.

So why, you may ask, did I wait a full year to repair my club? I actually kept my 5-iron on display...a perpetual reminder of my blow up. Every time I felt the urge to slam my club or kick the cart, I thought back to my broken 5-iron and took a deep breath. I won't say I've been a saint out on the course this past year, but I have significantly reduced the number of eruptions. Sure, I'll still swear like a drunken sailor, but the anger is significantly down and I like to think I'm a little less of a jerk.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a 5-iron to pick up and another 80's round to post. Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

I didn't make that last on up...I stole if from Yoda. Wise in the ways of the Force was he....help you with golf too, he can.

~Saps