These are the words of a gambling man. If you, too, fashion yourself as a gambler (no, not the 14th hole at King's North golf course in myrtle) then these words are like music to your ear.
It was announced last week that Sheabone will be the Myrtle Beach bookie. He will take straight up bets, prop bets, even bets about whether or not our caddies this year will be better looking than "Precious" (you decide if you take that to mean Gollum from Lord of the Rings or the young girl from the movie i'll never see because it looks like the saddest movie ever). Whatever the case, Sheabone is your man.
The handicaps have been locked, practice is all but complete. I'd say it's pretty much over save for the drinkin, the eatin, the shankin and the spankin (those of you who might frequent derrierre's)...
Before I post the odds as prognosticated by the masters of all things myrtle, I have a brief commentary on the state of affairs. Since the handicaps were locked, Brett has posted an even par round, then followed that up my losing 8 balls the next. Bos had his best round of the year even with a shaky finish (his words). Saps, while trending solidly for weeks now seems to be trending in the opposite direction. Could that be due to his projected finish below??? Rufus, according to oob, hasn't played since September! Bryan seems to play every day, yet claims to be unemployed...how is this??? We have a search and recover team deployed to determine what, if any state, T-Roy's golf game is in...And Douglas Barz. What can be said? A consistent 120-130 golfer in myrtles past goes out and shoots a 97 with a 10????? If there's a darkhorse going into myrtle...Douglas Barczzczsazxdasczaxczcz, it is thou...
Here are the projected finishes...clearly we didn't have bios for all since the creators are slackers...
Statistics Used:
Handicap: Based on Oobgolf.com as of 05/25/2010
Current Scoring Avg: from last 20 rounds (ESC Adjusted scores used)
Scoring above Handicap: Differential of past 20 rounds minus current handicap (are you playing to your handicap)
Myrtle Differential: Average net scores over past 3 Myrtle trips over par (indicator of how well you shoot at Myrtle vs a standard round)
Jason Lich
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 2nd
2008 Finish: 6th
2009 Finish: 5th
2010 Projection: 1st
Statistics
Handicap: 11.9 (5th)
Current Scoring Avg: 89.6 (5th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.5 (4th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $132 (5th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.7 (2nd)
Spawned in the deep woods of West Virginia Jason Lich fulfilled his redneck heritage and lives without his 3rd molar. Knowledgeable on a wealth of subjects (complex engineering, economics of Weimar Germany, fruit fly mating rituals), Lich is always ready to corner you for 8 hours providing you with 500 reasons why JMU football should be in the BCS. He retired for three months at age 37 only to be pulled back into the into the world of male exotic entertainment. His unconventional game is...unconventional. He lines up 45 degrees to the right, and pipes the drive low but down the middle of the fairway....245 yards to glory. Rattled only when tossed from a cart, he's got the mental game of Tiger and the back hair of El Chupacabra. He's the only member at Myrtle with an even par round and a hole in one. It doesn't matter that his swing is that of bizarro-Furyk, if you're matched against him you better bring a bottle of Woodford and your "A" game.
CT says: X factor is moving out west. Does the west coast air add 500 yards to his courses? Can he rekindle the fire from the hole in one at glen dornoch? Will he take off his shirt in the bar again? (CT’s projection: 5th)
Saps says: The handicap Factor makes him a strong bet to win it. In past years he’s been rolling into Myrtle sporting around a 7 (handicap that is….), currently he’s 5 strokes higher around 12. He may be playing poorly these days, but getting back to the east coast could provide him with the boost he needs. If he remembers how to score he could be dragging the trophy 3000 miles across the country. (Saps’s projection: 1st)
Brett Mikoy
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 3rd
2009 Finish: 2nd
2010 Projection: 2nd
Statistics
Handicap: 7.3 (2nd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.2 (2nd)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.2 (3rd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $275 (2nd)
Myrtle Differential: 3.5 (4th)
Since Myrtle 2009 Brett has checked the following accomplishments off the sports bucket list; 1) robbed a home run ball, 2) bowled a perfect game, 3) shot an even par round. As a master of the old man sports, Brett is just a pair of "Depends" away from a quiet resting place in Shady Pines Retirement Village. Still, if things keep trending this way, Brett may add the Myrtle Cup to round out his old man sports "quad-fecta."
CT says: Not even a slew of chuck lessons can propel him to the top spot. He won't miss by much, but the round 3 pairing (Shea, Bos, Lich) will be too much to overcome. (CT’s projection: 3rd)
Saps says: I put him behind his brother just to add fuel to the rivalry. Last year, Brett made the mistake of posting some rounds in the 70s - this year; he’s learned to suck a little more. With his handicap back at a more manageable 7, Brett’s chances go up considerably. Can he work with the pressure now that Bryan has a lower handicap? (Saps’s projection: 5th)
Brian Ciarlo
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 3rd
2008 Finish: 7th
2009 Finish: 4th
2010 Projection: 3rd
Statistics
Handicap: 9.8 (4th)
Current Scoring Avg: 86.9 (4th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.8 (5th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $89 (6th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.0 (5th)
BIO PENDING
CT says: A perennial top 5’er, this year's pairings are his undoing and he can't quite break through (CT’s projection: 2nd)
Saps says: Talk about your bad draws, Cairlo is playing 3rd highest average group handicap – 24.3! If he can stay patient and ignore the multitude of debacles around him, his game is strong enough to win. Playing the whole week with high handicappers is just an uphill battle. (Saps’s projection: 7th)
Chris Mikoy
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 4th
2008 Finish: 4th
2009 Finish: 3rd
2010 Projection: 4th
Statistics
Handicap: 7.8 (3rd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.8 (3rd)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.9 (2nd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $198 (4th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.5 (1st)
You're not getting any frills. You might experience some irritation or some unnecessary stress. I can certainly tell you that CT will bring his A-Game to anything he does. There is no half-assery. The ladies...love him. The men...envy him. Why? Well, no one knows, but some things in life are better left unquestioned. The proud father of a 6 month old as we move into the myrtle season, we wonder how he'll keep his concentration now that it's not just the lufa which draws his attention. Mentally strong, maybe. Dashing, i think so. At the end of the day, he's the only member of the LBI crew who has managed to post a sub-80 round in the 3 tournaments so far, so he's gotta carry some clout and respect (incidentally, if you go back to his bachelor party in 2005, he posted an additional 2 rounds in the 70s). Outside of his wife and kid, golf is important in his life. He looks forward to this trip every year. Now that it is his sole man-trip every year, watch out; it got that much more important...watch out.
CT says: I’d like to rank myself higher. I’ll be solid, but I fear there will be 2-4 holes throughout the week where the words "quad" will be used and it will be my downfall. Throw in a lack of practice and a lesson 3 weeks prior to the trip... (CT’s projection: 7th)
Saps says: The new child factor. CT’s been playing solid golf lately, but with limited time for practice he may finish 3rd among the Mikoys. Still, with his smooth and largely error free game, CT is never really out of the running. (Saps’s projection: 6th)
Matt Sapsford
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 11th
2008 Finish: 9th
2009 Finish: 10th
2010 Projection: 5th
Statistics
Handicap: 18 (6th)
Current Scoring Avg: 97.5 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.4 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $47 (7th)
Myrtle Differential: 11.8 (9th)
BIO PENDING
CT says: yes I’m saying it…The Mental Midget…The Rage Filled Master...he will get his mental game under control and solidify his legacy in the LBI. I have a feeling about the kid. He’s going to put less pressure on himself to perform and come through with 2 rounds in the 80s and 2 in the 90s. X factor, will he read this and then put pressure on himself? (CT’s projection: 1st)
Saps says: I want to say this is my year, but looking objectively, the mental game could provide yet another year of disappointment. After spending all of 2009 trying to eliminate the snap hook, Myrtle 2010 should be a considerable improvement over last year’s disaster. The short game is improved as well, and the overall scoring is finally consistent with the 18 handicap. Aside from the mental factor, I’ll be playing with an average group handicap of 22.3 – including a first round with Moden, Nasar and Ladd. If there is a blow up round, it’ll likely come on day 1, round 1. Will I be able to rebound? (Saps’s projection: 8th)
Steve Boswell
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 9th
2008 Finish: 15th (tied)
2009 Finish: 1st
2010 Projection: 6th
Statistics
Handicap: 22.4 (10th)
Current Scoring Avg: 101.9 (10th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.6 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $236 (3rd)
Myrtle Differential: 7.7 (8th)
Is the pope a catholic? Does a Bos $#&@ in the woods? As the elder statesman of the group Boswell carries a regal nobility which compliments his mature demeanor. That is unless he’s running around the golf course with his testicles hanging out of his pants. A lover of beers both Belgian and hopped, Sir Boswellicus the Inebriated can often be found swilling beverages at the Bottom Line with his current life partner Shea (rumor is they got married during a recent trip out to Las Vegas). Bos’s golf game took turn a big time turn last year as he fought through a wrist injury and multitudes of mental demons to win Myrtle 2009. Over the past year his general pessimism has slowly started to give way to confidence and while his scores of late have been bad his swing has actually been looking quite smooth. If he can recapture some of last year’s magic Bos has an outside chance for a top 5 finish. He’ll be playing with some of the more lower handicappers this year, which should keep him focused enough to finish well inside of the top 10.
CT says: Past champ hangover. The mental game not there right now and if you throw in potential new clubs…Fail. (CT’s projection: 12th)
Saps says: He’s hitting more fairways than ever. Plus you don’t have to worry about him putting additional pressure on himself to win back to back since the level of pressure he puts on himself is high no matter what the stakes. Bos is also playing with an average group handicap of 17.8, which should help him keep focused and avoid the catastrophe round. (Saps’s projection: 2nd)
Brett says: Historical data ranks Bos 7th in Avg finish, 10th in Avg HC, 7th in Avg Gross & Net, and carries a PF factor of 24. If he can lesson his PF factor by eliminating one blackout, make it through two Shea rounds, and overcome the 2 stroke HC penalty as last years champion” he’ll be in the running for back to back championships. (Brett’s projection: 10th)
Kevin Shea
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 6th
2010 Projection: 7th
Statistics
Handicap: 18.7 (7th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.7 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.0 (11th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $44 (8th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.1 (6th)
BIO PENDING
CT says: Too many beer clubs. Updating woods to 2000s technology adds 5 spots to otherwise projected spot. (CT’s projection: 9th)
Saps says: Behind the multiple beer clubs and stripper ordering lays a solid golfer. Standing at 8’ 5”, Shea can bang out a drive with the best of ‘em. He’s got good touch and an above average short game. Having shed his persimmon driver, Shea could have a legitimate shot at the title. Then again it’s difficult to find that first fairway after walking straight from a lap dance to the tee box. Look for a few solid scores, lots of beer clubs, and a good time. (Saps’s projection: 9th)
Brian Ladd ** LBI ROOKIE**
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A)
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 8th
Statistics
Handicap: 27.7 (12th)
Current Scoring Avg: 105.8 (11th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.7 (13th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A
BIO PENDING
CT says: Only played with him once. He will be the high rookie. From what I can tell his game can be sporadic. Can he keep it together and post strong or will he just focus on the liquid side of the game? (CT’s projection: 6th)
Saps says: Unbeknownst to just about everyone with the possible exception of Nasar, is that Ladd and I have a rivalry going back to Vienna Youth Intramural (VYI) basketball and has continued through adult baseball. If I’m batting ahead of him in the line-up, you can bet he’s going to be pressing extra hard…and vice versa. Playing with me on day one could provide him with the incentive to post a solid round…and it could have the exact opposite effect on me. He’s still inconsistent from shot to shot, but Brian should finish near the middle of the pack and make a good mark as a rookie. (Saps’s projection: 10th)
Matt Moden
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 1st
2008 Finish: 1st
2009 Finish: 9th
2010 Projection: 9th
Statistics
Handicap: 24.9 (11th)
Current Scoring Avg: 109.2 (12th)
Scoring above Handicap: 7.9 (14th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $585 (1st)
Myrtle Differential: 3.0 (3rd)
BIO PENDING
CT says: Two time champ again can't muster the magic from prior years (CT’s projection: 11th)
Saps says: A good golf game concealed by a maniac…Moden be crazy. He’s also got as good of a chance as anyone to post a solid round. As a 2 time champion, Moden may not get enough respect on the course….call him the Rodney Dangerfield of the group - both in respect and attire. One thing that no one can argue is that he will be looking fly out on the course. (Saps’s projection: 11th)
Bryan Mikoy
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 12th
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 10th
Statistics
Handicap: 5 (1st)
Current Scoring Avg: 81.1 (1st)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.2 (1st)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $32 (9th)
Myrtle Differential: 7.6 (7th)
BIO PENDING
CT says: The handicap is too low. Posting a 70s round just to shoot net even scores is too much to ask at myrtle. (CT’s projection: 14th)
Saps says: I have no idea how the 5 handicap will translate to Myrtle, but it’s impressive none the less. He’s paired up with solid golfers all week, which should help him stay focused. Sure, he’s missed out on last year’s tournament, but if he can remember how to hit fairways while shot gunning boozers, he has a good chance. With the low handicap he’ll need some help from other golfers, but there are sure to be some monster numbers posted. If Mutumbo can hover around his average, he’s got a shot. (Saps’s projection: 4th)
Chris Stevens ** LBI ROOKIE**
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 11th
Statistics
Handicap: 21.9 (8th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.4 (7th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.0 (7th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A
BIO PENDING
CT says: I feel like he'll play right at or above all rounds. It’s not the badness that worries me, it's the lack of seeing a stellar round out there. (CT’s projection: 14th)
Saps says: Though rarely talked about, Stevens has a solid game and has been playing right around his handicap of late. His day one pairing with Bos, Ciarlo and Shea should get him off on a good start -- solid players without a lot of pressure (Shea’s steady injection of CL’s will help relax). I look for Stevens to post a strong 1st round and stick around the top of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 3rd)
Doug Barszcz
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 8th
2010 Projection: 12th
Statistics
Handicap: 36.4 (16th)
Current Scoring Avg: 124.3 (16th)
Scoring above Handicap: 8.8 (15th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $25 (11th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)
BIO PENDING
CT says: Never underestimate such a high handicap. if minor adjustments are made to get him off the tee, he's got a chance (CT’s projection: 4th)
Saps says: Words said to me before last year’s Myrtle trip; “If I can’t finish in first, I’m going to make sure I pull other people down with me.” Sadly, I bore the brunt of his aggression last year, as his psychological attacked hammered away at an already fragile state. “Hey Saps, nice snap hook….how much did you pay to learn that shot?” These barbs still sting to this day. Barszcz has improved over last year, and may now be able to reach 180 yards on his drive. He will still finish near the back; the only question is who will he take with him? (Saps’s projection: 14th)
Rufus Knight
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 15th
2009 Finish: 11th
2010 Projection: 13th
Statistics
Handicap: 22.2 (9th)
Current Scoring Avg: 100.7 (9th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.9 (6th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)
BIO PENDING
CT says: We're all pulling for Rufus. X factor is will he wear pants every day or not? if he wears shorts, my projection moves him up several spots. (CT’s projection: 8th)
Saps says: Perhaps the smoothest short game in the group, Rufus is cash money inside 75 yards. The problem is getting to 75 yards. He can hit the ball a mile, but the super fade is unreliable – fairways quickly turn to OB from one hole to the next. Still, he looks excellent in long pants. (Saps’s projection: 12th)
Troy Welck
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 7th
2010 Projection: 14th
Statistics
Handicap: 30 (13th)
Current Scoring Avg: 120.0 (154th)
Scoring above Handicap: N/A
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)
BIO PENDING
CT says: With the kid and not much practice, Troy will focus on what he needs to, boozing...maybe even sleeping. (CT’s projection: 10th)
Saps says: Trouble T-Roy...Disaster waives at you with a smile and the next thing you know it’s 7am and you’re in the parking lot of a strip club. Another player with the new baby factor but then again practice was never all that high of a priority. From the wake up, grip it and rip it school, Troy is should provide Mikey with some solid company towards the back of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 15th)
Dave Nasar
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 12th
2010 Projection: 15th
Statistics
Handicap: 30.8 (14th)
Current Scoring Avg: 110.8 (13th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.5 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $26 (10th)
Myrtle Differential: 23.3 (13th)
BIO PENDING
CT says: I still think Nasar needs another year to realize what he needs to do to compete. last year, one day. (CT’s projection: 13th)
Saps says: 2 Facts; Dave’s moustache makes him look like Freddy Mercury; Dave has played MUCH more golf in the past year than the previous. Myrtle 2009 marked a return of sorts for Dave to the game of golf. His last place finish could just as easily been due to rust as scotch. Maybe it was 50/50. Dave’s improvement should save him from cleaning out the RV shitter for a second year in a row. (Saps’s projection: 13th)
Mike Hollandsworth ** LBI ROOKIE**
Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 16th
Statistics
Handicap: 33.7 (15th)
Current Scoring Avg: 115.0 (14th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.8 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A
BIO PENDING
CT says: 71 on the back 9 a couple weeks ago makes it difficult to put him anywhere but last. Sorry, Mike. His handicap at least gives him a chance…he could prove me wrong. (CT’s projection: 16th)
Saps says: Mikey may be the most honest score keeper of the bunch – and that includes Boswell. I’ve actually said to him “dude, just take an 8 on that one.” His reply is usually “nah, that was a 12.” Due to the Myrtle rule establishing 10 as the max per hole, Mike may be the only player to see his scores drop below average! That said he has an excellent chance to shoot 8 rounds of even par golf….unfortunately that will be over the course of 4 rounds. (Saps’s projection: 16th)
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