It's all over but the dry heaving.....

Another myrtle has come and gone, and while I nibble on antacids and procrastinate clearing out my work inbox, I thought it would be nice to reflect upon the good times, and revisit our pre-Myrtle prognostications.

Highlights from the trip:

• A Myrtle rookie makes his mark early by taking the RV club one step further with the RV bomb (a car bomb that's taken while traveling at 60 mph). His high praise was short lived however, as he lasted until just past Richmond before passing out....in the middle of a card game.

• Another year, another order of waffle house hash browns topped (cheese) and covered (chili)....and another year of not breaking the RV code. I'm living dangerously, but surviving none the less (t'was an RV rookie who broke the code this year).

• Myrtle euphoria + cute Hooters gift shop chick + beer every 15 miles from Ensfield NC to Myrtle Beach SC = Hooters golf towels for all!!!

• I don't care what they say, Moden's hat was fly. They all just hatin', kid.

• Sheabone was in the group behind me on first round in the first day. On just about every other hole I heard "HEY PIERRE!" This was followed by the very large man humping whatever was close.

• Sheabone was in my group on the second round in the first day. When he rolled up, I sighed deeply knowing my round was in trouble. Beer club was performed on the second hole.

• Glen Dornouch, hole 16.....shirtless par 3. Followed very shortly by the shirtless beer club (another Myrtle first)

• Hurricane Mikoy cut a path of destruction 4 condos deep. 6 shot guns and 2 car bombs in an hour. When opened the door he just stood there grinning. "Sheabone is hiding from me," he said in a French accent. That should have been enough warning right there.

• Carmela Soprano owes me a quesadilla

• A certain hero deserves a medal for saving the day not once by twice. Not only did he carry 3 drunken fool out of a "gentleman's establishment" (thereby saving their bank accounts) but he also made a timely call informing us of traffic on I-95. This saved another fool from messing his shorts in the RV (we'd already dumped the septic at this point). Well done, sir, and thank you!

• Moden aka Superfly Snuka may interrupt your dinner

• Pool party with the crazy fish and white lightning....and Shrek's ass!

• "Ohhhh Noooooowh" is the new "Fail." Said just as often in 2010, and every bit as annoying and addicting.

• Prestwick can suck it

• OhShea OhSheaOhShea OhShea!!!!

• Myrtle 2010 was capped off with a "fail" 30 second before departure as I dropped our condo key down the drainage grate in the parking lot. Thankfully the condo wasn't on my credit card (sorry Dave).

• ...and finally, a sincere thank you to Brett for organizing another great time. It's a #$&@-ton of work but it turns our amazing every time.

"That's a terrible recap...just tell us who won already!" Fine....you impatient jerk...here you go. Below you'll find the finishes for all 16 golfers as well as a comparison to our intial projections. Some we nailed pretty close, others way way off. Congratulations to Brett for taking the trophy! He played solid golf all week, and still manged to hammer down beer clubs.

1st Place: Brett Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 2nd)

What we said: "He won't miss by much, but the round 3 pairing (Shea, Bos, Lich) might be too much to overcome.

Net (over par): -1

Recap: It turns out he lived through his 3rd round pairing just fine, posting an 80 gross while firing down multiple beer clubs. Probably the most well rounded tournament anyone has played in the LBI - 3 rounds in the low 80s and one in the 70's, with lots and lots of pound towns. Impressive.

2nd Place: Matt Moden (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 9th)

What we said: "2-time champ won't muster the magic from prior years."

Net (over par): +7

Recap: Moden shrugged off fire ant attacks and drunken injuries and wound up playing some solid golf. Though he struggled in the 4th round, Moden still managed to hang on to 2nd place thanks to strong rounds at Glen Heather and Grande Dunes.

3rd Place: Matt Sapsford (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 5th)

What we said: "He will get his mental game under control and solidify his legacy in the LBI...but if there is a blow up it will come in round one (paired with Ladd & Nasar)"

Net (over par): +11

Recap: We weren't the only ones to think the first round could spell doom for 2010. Ladd & Nasar had a side bet as to which hole I'd blow up on during that first round. Despite their attempts to break me, I kept my mental game in check and played well. Unfortunately the heat and the shot guns were a little too much for me at Glen Dornouch where I posted my only triple digit round (100). I made a charge at Moden in the last round, but the hangover effect from Hurricane Mikoy proved a little to difficult to overcome.

4th Place: Jason Lich (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 1st)

What we said: "If he remembers how to score, he could be dragging the trophy 3000 miles across the country"

Net (over par): +21

Recap: After a mediocre 1st day (89, 97 - including a 10 on the super tough 18th at Glen Dornouch), Lich made a hard charge on the 3rd round at Grande Dunes posting an 85. Unfortunately the poor conditions of the greens at Prestwick got the better of him, and he couldn't continue his charge. Still, a hard fought top 5 finish.

5th Place (tied): Brian Ladd (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 8th)

What we said: "Can he keep it together and post strong, or will he focus on the liquid side of the game...he should finish near the middle of the pack and make a good mark as a rookie."

Net (over par): +25

Recap: Ladd made a strong impact in his first year in the LBI, entering the final round net +13. Unfortunately the liquid side got the better of him as he fought through the hangover on the last round and nearly doubled his net score. Perhaps most importantly (or most tragically - depending on how you look at it) he was able to capture the shirtless par 3 on film.

5th Place (tied): Chris Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 4th)

What we said: "CT's been playing solid golf lately, but with limited time for practice, he may finish 3rd among the Mikoy's"

Net (over par): +25

Recap: After fighting through the pound town round at Glen Dornouch and posting a solid 85, things looked good for CT. But then came the rage -- not at his golf game, but rather the poor conditions at Prestwick (the greens really were terrible). Regardless whether it was the rage or the conditions, CT's 95 in the final round took him out of contention for a top 3 finish.

5th Place (tied): Steve Boswell (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 6th)

What we said: "Bos is playing with an average group handicap of 17.8, which should keep him focused enough to avoid the catastrophe round"

Net (over par): +25

Recap: El Jesus Boswellio did not have the catastrophe round which seems to plague his golf game, but nor did he have that low round which propelled him to the 2009 championship. His 4 rounds were all about 4 or 5 strokes over par... respectable and consistent, but not enough for a top 3 finish.

8th Place: Kevin Shea (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 7th)

What we said: "Too many beer clubs"

Net (over par): +27

Recap: We almost completely missed our projection on Shea. Rolling into the final day at +7, Shea was in the hunt for 2nd place. Another victim of Hurricane Mikoy, Shea struggled mightily at Prestwick posting a crushing 113. Let it be known Shea did not limp to the finish line! After fighting through the front nine, Shea beer clubed the final 4 holes.

9th Place: Brian Ciarlo (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 3rd)

What we said: "His game is strong enough to win, but playing the whole week with high handicappers is just an uphill battle"

Net (over par): +32

Recap: Despite our concerns over his pairings, we still thought Ciarlo could pull off a top 3 finish. We were wrong. Ciarlo dug himself into a hole with a +18 net after day one and, despite playing well at Grande Dunes, succumbed to the beer clubs at Prestwick.

10th Place: Rufus Knight (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 13th)

What we said: "Rufus is cash money inside 75 yards...the problem is getting there"

Net (over par): +34

Recap: Wearing pants for only half the rounds, Rufus looked as though he was going to prove the prognosticators wrong. He posted the 2nd best net score at Glen Dornouch, and entered the final round at a net +16. Unfortunately he posted his worst score on the final round with a net +18. We'll once again throw the blame on Prestwick. Boooo Prestwick....Booo. Mow your greens!!!

11th Place: Bryan Mikoy (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 10th)

What we said: "The handicap is too low...posting a 70's round just get a net par is too much to ask"

Net (over par): +37

Recap: Perhaps it was the back to back rounds in the 90s that set off Hurricane Mikoy. His pain was our pain as he took down about half of the golfers in the field.

12th Place: Troy Welck (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 14th)

What we said: "With the new kid and not much practice, Troy will focus on what he needs to, boozing....maybe even sleeping"

Net (over par): +43

Recap: Turns out what he needed to focus on was the World Cup, as Troy posted his best round on the final day -- when he had a portable TV in the cart showing the world cup game.

13th Place: Dave Nasar (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 15th)

What we said: "Dave's mustache makes him look like Freddy Mercury"

Net (over par): +49

Recap: No one at Myrtle 2010 grew a mustache except me. Despite the fact Dave could have grown a mustache during the RV ride down the Myrtle he decided not to impersonate the former front man for Queen. Booo. Bad Form! Dave battled a bulging disc in his back for the entire week and actually played well for stretches, but not enough for a top 10 finish.

14th Place: Chris Stevens (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 11th)

What we said: "His 1st round pairing should get him off to a solid start"

Net (over par): +58

Recap: His 1st round pairing did indeed get him off to a solid start -- unfortunately it went downhill from there. White Lightning battled through some heat exhaustion at Glen Dornouch and fortunately he was able to recover and finish out the week.

15th Place: Doug Barszcz (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 12th)

What we said: "Never underestimate such a high handicap"

Net (over par): DNF

Recap: Barszcz was off to a solid week before a family emergency required he leave in the middle of the final round. Our thoughts and prayers are with him and his family.

16th Place: Mike Hollandsworth (pre-Myrtle Projecton: 16th)

What we said: "He has an excellent chance to shoot 8 rounds of par golf....unfortunately it will be over 4 rounds"

Net (over par): DNF

Recap: Even before the effects of Hurricane Mikoy caused him to withdraw after 6 holes on the final round, Mike was on a one way train to last place. As a result, he had to clean out the RV shitter, which thanks to a fellow rookie contained an ugly little surprise.

So there you have it. Another Myrtle come and gone, we are left waiting another year until we can run around like morons, play golf with our shirts off, and shot gun beers on the tee box.

Financial recap and possibly more videos to follow. For those interested, my photos can be seen here (nothing scandalous).

~Saps

Place Your Bets, Place Your Bets

"Hey Whitey, Where's your hat? I bet you slice it into the woods! A hundred bucks."

These are the words of a gambling man. If you, too, fashion yourself as a gambler (no, not the 14th hole at King's North golf course in myrtle) then these words are like music to your ear.

It was announced last week that Sheabone will be the Myrtle Beach bookie. He will take straight up bets, prop bets, even bets about whether or not our caddies this year will be better looking than "Precious" (you decide if you take that to mean Gollum from Lord of the Rings or the young girl from the movie i'll never see because it looks like the saddest movie ever). Whatever the case, Sheabone is your man.

The handicaps have been locked, practice is all but complete. I'd say it's pretty much over save for the drinkin, the eatin, the shankin and the spankin (those of you who might frequent derrierre's)...

Before I post the odds as prognosticated by the masters of all things myrtle, I have a brief commentary on the state of affairs. Since the handicaps were locked, Brett has posted an even par round, then followed that up my losing 8 balls the next. Bos had his best round of the year even with a shaky finish (his words). Saps, while trending solidly for weeks now seems to be trending in the opposite direction. Could that be due to his projected finish below??? Rufus, according to oob, hasn't played since September! Bryan seems to play every day, yet claims to be unemployed...how is this??? We have a search and recover team deployed to determine what, if any state, T-Roy's golf game is in...And Douglas Barz. What can be said? A consistent 120-130 golfer in myrtles past goes out and shoots a 97 with a 10????? If there's a darkhorse going into myrtle...Douglas Barczzczsazxdasczaxczcz, it is thou...

Here are the projected finishes...clearly we didn't have bios for all since the creators are slackers...

Statistics Used:
Handicap: Based on Oobgolf.com as of 05/25/2010
Current Scoring Avg: from last 20 rounds (ESC Adjusted scores used)
Scoring above Handicap: Differential of past 20 rounds minus current handicap (are you playing to your handicap)
Myrtle Differential: Average net scores over past 3 Myrtle trips over par (indicator of how well you shoot at Myrtle vs a standard round)

Jason Lich

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 2nd
2008 Finish: 6th
2009 Finish: 5th
2010 Projection: 1st

Statistics
Handicap: 11.9 (5th)
Current Scoring Avg: 89.6 (5th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.5 (4th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $132 (5th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.7 (2nd)

Spawned in the deep woods of West Virginia Jason Lich fulfilled his redneck heritage and lives without his 3rd molar. Knowledgeable on a wealth of subjects (complex engineering, economics of Weimar Germany, fruit fly mating rituals), Lich is always ready to corner you for 8 hours providing you with 500 reasons why JMU football should be in the BCS. He retired for three months at age 37 only to be pulled back into the into the world of male exotic entertainment. His unconventional game is...unconventional. He lines up 45 degrees to the right, and pipes the drive low but down the middle of the fairway....245 yards to glory. Rattled only when tossed from a cart, he's got the mental game of Tiger and the back hair of El Chupacabra. He's the only member at Myrtle with an even par round and a hole in one. It doesn't matter that his swing is that of bizarro-Furyk, if you're matched against him you better bring a bottle of Woodford and your "A" game.

CT says: X factor is moving out west. Does the west coast air add 500 yards to his courses? Can he rekindle the fire from the hole in one at glen dornoch? Will he take off his shirt in the bar again? (CT’s projection: 5th)

Saps says: The handicap Factor makes him a strong bet to win it. In past years he’s been rolling into Myrtle sporting around a 7 (handicap that is….), currently he’s 5 strokes higher around 12. He may be playing poorly these days, but getting back to the east coast could provide him with the boost he needs. If he remembers how to score he could be dragging the trophy 3000 miles across the country. (Saps’s projection: 1st)

Brett Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 3rd
2009 Finish: 2nd
2010 Projection: 2nd

Statistics
Handicap: 7.3 (2nd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.2 (2nd)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.2 (3rd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $275 (2nd)
Myrtle Differential: 3.5 (4th)

Since Myrtle 2009 Brett has checked the following accomplishments off the sports bucket list; 1) robbed a home run ball, 2) bowled a perfect game, 3) shot an even par round. As a master of the old man sports, Brett is just a pair of "Depends" away from a quiet resting place in Shady Pines Retirement Village. Still, if things keep trending this way, Brett may add the Myrtle Cup to round out his old man sports "quad-fecta."

CT says: Not even a slew of chuck lessons can propel him to the top spot. He won't miss by much, but the round 3 pairing (Shea, Bos, Lich) will be too much to overcome. (CT’s projection: 3rd)

Saps says: I put him behind his brother just to add fuel to the rivalry. Last year, Brett made the mistake of posting some rounds in the 70s - this year; he’s learned to suck a little more. With his handicap back at a more manageable 7, Brett’s chances go up considerably. Can he work with the pressure now that Bryan has a lower handicap? (Saps’s projection: 5th)

Brian Ciarlo

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 3rd
2008 Finish: 7th
2009 Finish: 4th
2010 Projection: 3rd

Statistics
Handicap: 9.8 (4th)
Current Scoring Avg: 86.9 (4th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.8 (5th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $89 (6th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.0 (5th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: A perennial top 5’er, this year's pairings are his undoing and he can't quite break through (CT’s projection: 2nd)

Saps says: Talk about your bad draws, Cairlo is playing 3rd highest average group handicap – 24.3! If he can stay patient and ignore the multitude of debacles around him, his game is strong enough to win. Playing the whole week with high handicappers is just an uphill battle. (Saps’s projection: 7th)

Chris Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 4th
2008 Finish: 4th
2009 Finish: 3rd
2010 Projection: 4th

Statistics
Handicap: 7.8 (3rd)
Current Scoring Avg: 85.8 (3rd)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.9 (2nd)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $198 (4th)
Myrtle Differential: 2.5 (1st)

You're not getting any frills. You might experience some irritation or some unnecessary stress. I can certainly tell you that CT will bring his A-Game to anything he does. There is no half-assery. The ladies...love him. The men...envy him. Why? Well, no one knows, but some things in life are better left unquestioned. The proud father of a 6 month old as we move into the myrtle season, we wonder how he'll keep his concentration now that it's not just the lufa which draws his attention. Mentally strong, maybe. Dashing, i think so. At the end of the day, he's the only member of the LBI crew who has managed to post a sub-80 round in the 3 tournaments so far, so he's gotta carry some clout and respect (incidentally, if you go back to his bachelor party in 2005, he posted an additional 2 rounds in the 70s). Outside of his wife and kid, golf is important in his life. He looks forward to this trip every year. Now that it is his sole man-trip every year, watch out; it got that much more important...watch out.

CT says: I’d like to rank myself higher. I’ll be solid, but I fear there will be 2-4 holes throughout the week where the words "quad" will be used and it will be my downfall. Throw in a lack of practice and a lesson 3 weeks prior to the trip... (CT’s projection: 7th)

Saps says: The new child factor. CT’s been playing solid golf lately, but with limited time for practice he may finish 3rd among the Mikoys. Still, with his smooth and largely error free game, CT is never really out of the running. (Saps’s projection: 6th)

Matt Sapsford

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 11th
2008 Finish: 9th
2009 Finish: 10th
2010 Projection: 5th

Statistics
Handicap: 18 (6th)
Current Scoring Avg: 97.5 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.4 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $47 (7th)
Myrtle Differential: 11.8 (9th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: yes I’m saying it…The Mental Midget…The Rage Filled Master...he will get his mental game under control and solidify his legacy in the LBI. I have a feeling about the kid. He’s going to put less pressure on himself to perform and come through with 2 rounds in the 80s and 2 in the 90s. X factor, will he read this and then put pressure on himself? (CT’s projection: 1st)

Saps says: I want to say this is my year, but looking objectively, the mental game could provide yet another year of disappointment. After spending all of 2009 trying to eliminate the snap hook, Myrtle 2010 should be a considerable improvement over last year’s disaster. The short game is improved as well, and the overall scoring is finally consistent with the 18 handicap. Aside from the mental factor, I’ll be playing with an average group handicap of 22.3 – including a first round with Moden, Nasar and Ladd. If there is a blow up round, it’ll likely come on day 1, round 1. Will I be able to rebound? (Saps’s projection: 8th)

Steve Boswell

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 9th
2008 Finish: 15th (tied)
2009 Finish: 1st
2010 Projection: 6th

Statistics
Handicap: 22.4 (10th)
Current Scoring Avg: 101.9 (10th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.6 (8th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $236 (3rd)
Myrtle Differential: 7.7 (8th)

Is the pope a catholic? Does a Bos $#&@ in the woods? As the elder statesman of the group Boswell carries a regal nobility which compliments his mature demeanor. That is unless he’s running around the golf course with his testicles hanging out of his pants. A lover of beers both Belgian and hopped, Sir Boswellicus the Inebriated can often be found swilling beverages at the Bottom Line with his current life partner Shea (rumor is they got married during a recent trip out to Las Vegas). Bos’s golf game took turn a big time turn last year as he fought through a wrist injury and multitudes of mental demons to win Myrtle 2009. Over the past year his general pessimism has slowly started to give way to confidence and while his scores of late have been bad his swing has actually been looking quite smooth. If he can recapture some of last year’s magic Bos has an outside chance for a top 5 finish. He’ll be playing with some of the more lower handicappers this year, which should keep him focused enough to finish well inside of the top 10.

CT says: Past champ hangover. The mental game not there right now and if you throw in potential new clubs…Fail. (CT’s projection: 12th)

Saps says: He’s hitting more fairways than ever. Plus you don’t have to worry about him putting additional pressure on himself to win back to back since the level of pressure he puts on himself is high no matter what the stakes. Bos is also playing with an average group handicap of 17.8, which should help him keep focused and avoid the catastrophe round. (Saps’s projection: 2nd)
Brett says: Historical data ranks Bos 7th in Avg finish, 10th in Avg HC, 7th in Avg Gross & Net, and carries a PF factor of 24. If he can lesson his PF factor by eliminating one blackout, make it through two Shea rounds, and overcome the 2 stroke HC penalty as last years champion” he’ll be in the running for back to back championships. (Brett’s projection: 10th)

Kevin Shea

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 6th
2010 Projection: 7th

Statistics
Handicap: 18.7 (7th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.7 (6th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.0 (11th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $44 (8th)
Myrtle Differential: 4.1 (6th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Too many beer clubs. Updating woods to 2000s technology adds 5 spots to otherwise projected spot. (CT’s projection: 9th)

Saps says: Behind the multiple beer clubs and stripper ordering lays a solid golfer. Standing at 8’ 5”, Shea can bang out a drive with the best of ‘em. He’s got good touch and an above average short game. Having shed his persimmon driver, Shea could have a legitimate shot at the title. Then again it’s difficult to find that first fairway after walking straight from a lap dance to the tee box. Look for a few solid scores, lots of beer clubs, and a good time. (Saps’s projection: 9th)

Brian Ladd ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A)
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 8th

Statistics
Handicap: 27.7 (12th)
Current Scoring Avg: 105.8 (11th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.7 (13th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: Only played with him once. He will be the high rookie. From what I can tell his game can be sporadic. Can he keep it together and post strong or will he just focus on the liquid side of the game? (CT’s projection: 6th)

Saps says: Unbeknownst to just about everyone with the possible exception of Nasar, is that Ladd and I have a rivalry going back to Vienna Youth Intramural (VYI) basketball and has continued through adult baseball. If I’m batting ahead of him in the line-up, you can bet he’s going to be pressing extra hard…and vice versa. Playing with me on day one could provide him with the incentive to post a solid round…and it could have the exact opposite effect on me. He’s still inconsistent from shot to shot, but Brian should finish near the middle of the pack and make a good mark as a rookie. (Saps’s projection: 10th)

Matt Moden

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 1st
2008 Finish: 1st
2009 Finish: 9th
2010 Projection: 9th

Statistics
Handicap: 24.9 (11th)
Current Scoring Avg: 109.2 (12th)
Scoring above Handicap: 7.9 (14th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $585 (1st)
Myrtle Differential: 3.0 (3rd)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Two time champ again can't muster the magic from prior years (CT’s projection: 11th)

Saps says: A good golf game concealed by a maniac…Moden be crazy. He’s also got as good of a chance as anyone to post a solid round. As a 2 time champion, Moden may not get enough respect on the course….call him the Rodney Dangerfield of the group - both in respect and attire. One thing that no one can argue is that he will be looking fly out on the course. (Saps’s projection: 11th)

Bryan Mikoy

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: 7th (tied)
2008 Finish: 12th
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 10th

Statistics
Handicap: 5 (1st)
Current Scoring Avg: 81.1 (1st)
Scoring above Handicap: 2.2 (1st)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $32 (9th)
Myrtle Differential: 7.6 (7th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: The handicap is too low. Posting a 70s round just to shoot net even scores is too much to ask at myrtle. (CT’s projection: 14th)

Saps says: I have no idea how the 5 handicap will translate to Myrtle, but it’s impressive none the less. He’s paired up with solid golfers all week, which should help him stay focused. Sure, he’s missed out on last year’s tournament, but if he can remember how to hit fairways while shot gunning boozers, he has a good chance. With the low handicap he’ll need some help from other golfers, but there are sure to be some monster numbers posted. If Mutumbo can hover around his average, he’s got a shot. (Saps’s projection: 4th)

Chris Stevens ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 11th

Statistics
Handicap: 21.9 (8th)
Current Scoring Avg: 99.4 (7th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.0 (7th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: I feel like he'll play right at or above all rounds. It’s not the badness that worries me, it's the lack of seeing a stellar round out there. (CT’s projection: 14th)

Saps says: Though rarely talked about, Stevens has a solid game and has been playing right around his handicap of late. His day one pairing with Bos, Ciarlo and Shea should get him off on a good start -- solid players without a lot of pressure (Shea’s steady injection of CL’s will help relax). I look for Stevens to post a strong 1st round and stick around the top of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 3rd)

Doug Barszcz

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 8th
2010 Projection: 12th

Statistics
Handicap: 36.4 (16th)
Current Scoring Avg: 124.3 (16th)
Scoring above Handicap: 8.8 (15th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $25 (11th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: Never underestimate such a high handicap. if minor adjustments are made to get him off the tee, he's got a chance (CT’s projection: 4th)

Saps says: Words said to me before last year’s Myrtle trip; “If I can’t finish in first, I’m going to make sure I pull other people down with me.” Sadly, I bore the brunt of his aggression last year, as his psychological attacked hammered away at an already fragile state. “Hey Saps, nice snap hook….how much did you pay to learn that shot?” These barbs still sting to this day. Barszcz has improved over last year, and may now be able to reach 180 yards on his drive. He will still finish near the back; the only question is who will he take with him? (Saps’s projection: 14th)

Rufus Knight

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 15th
2009 Finish: 11th
2010 Projection: 13th

Statistics
Handicap: 22.2 (9th)
Current Scoring Avg: 100.7 (9th)
Scoring above Handicap: 3.9 (6th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: We're all pulling for Rufus. X factor is will he wear pants every day or not? if he wears shorts, my projection moves him up several spots. (CT’s projection: 8th)

Saps says: Perhaps the smoothest short game in the group, Rufus is cash money inside 75 yards. The problem is getting to 75 yards. He can hit the ball a mile, but the super fade is unreliable – fairways quickly turn to OB from one hole to the next. Still, he looks excellent in long pants. (Saps’s projection: 12th)

Troy Welck

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: 17th (tied)
2009 Finish: 7th
2010 Projection: 14th

Statistics
Handicap: 30 (13th)
Current Scoring Avg: 120.0 (154th)
Scoring above Handicap: N/A
Career Myrtle Earnings: $1 (13th)
Myrtle Differential: 14.5 (11th – tied)

BIO PENDING

CT says: With the kid and not much practice, Troy will focus on what he needs to, boozing...maybe even sleeping. (CT’s projection: 10th)

Saps says: Trouble T-Roy...Disaster waives at you with a smile and the next thing you know it’s 7am and you’re in the parking lot of a strip club. Another player with the new baby factor but then again practice was never all that high of a priority. From the wake up, grip it and rip it school, Troy is should provide Mikey with some solid company towards the back of the leader board. (Saps’s projection: 15th)

Dave Nasar

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: 12th
2010 Projection: 15th

Statistics
Handicap: 30.8 (14th)
Current Scoring Avg: 110.8 (13th)
Scoring above Handicap: 5.5 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: $26 (10th)
Myrtle Differential: 23.3 (13th)

BIO PENDING

CT says: I still think Nasar needs another year to realize what he needs to do to compete. last year, one day. (CT’s projection: 13th)

Saps says: 2 Facts; Dave’s moustache makes him look like Freddy Mercury; Dave has played MUCH more golf in the past year than the previous. Myrtle 2009 marked a return of sorts for Dave to the game of golf. His last place finish could just as easily been due to rust as scotch. Maybe it was 50/50. Dave’s improvement should save him from cleaning out the RV shitter for a second year in a row. (Saps’s projection: 13th)

Mike Hollandsworth ** LBI ROOKIE**

Myrtle Finishes
2007 Finish: N/A
2008 Finish: N/A
2009 Finish: N/A
2010 Projection: 16th

Statistics
Handicap: 33.7 (15th)
Current Scoring Avg: 115.0 (14th)
Scoring above Handicap: 4.8 (12th)
Career Myrtle Earnings: N/A
Myrtle Differential: N/A

BIO PENDING

CT says: 71 on the back 9 a couple weeks ago makes it difficult to put him anywhere but last. Sorry, Mike. His handicap at least gives him a chance…he could prove me wrong. (CT’s projection: 16th)

Saps says: Mikey may be the most honest score keeper of the bunch – and that includes Boswell. I’ve actually said to him “dude, just take an 8 on that one.” His reply is usually “nah, that was a 12.” Due to the Myrtle rule establishing 10 as the max per hole, Mike may be the only player to see his scores drop below average! That said he has an excellent chance to shoot 8 rounds of even par golf….unfortunately that will be over the course of 4 rounds. (Saps’s projection: 16th)

Golf-a-Phobia

Pretty much everything a person can do in the world has an associated phobia. Fear of daytime is an official phobia. Fear of crystals or glass is an official phobia. Virtually every letter in the alphabet has a phobia or phobias associated with it. The closest thing I have to a phobia is Selachophobia. For a complete listing of phobias, please go here: http://www.phobialist.com/.

One of the biggest phobias i see in my life is a fear of golf; yet there is no phobia associated with it. Any time you go out on the golf course, you see it too. It's not any kind of phenomenon. There is no specific auditory, visual or aromatic trigger that can cause it to manifest. Rather, it is a combination of any of them that can cause the golf fear to appear. It doesn't appear in the places you would typically expect, either. Many people think it appears when you have to hit over a pond to get to the green. Or maybe you think it's the 200 yard carry that releases the fear. I mean, who likes to hit 3 from the tee, let alone hitting 3 over a forced carry???

Around the green is where i see the most fear. How can one argue with this? To prove my point here are the top 5 fails that result from golf fear:

1. Par 4: you miss the green short on your approach. The pin is on the front of the green. You hit a chip right up short of the green. In your mind, you must hit a perfect shot and you're afraid that if you don't you'll be 50 feet away. However, 50 feet and putting for par is better than being 50 feet and putting for bogey; which is what you WILL be after you flub the chip.
2. Sand Traps: same scenario, just replace the pin on the front with the pin anywhere. Leave it in the trap, blade it into the woods behind the green, there's a good chance you're going to (in your mind, prior to hitting it) add strokes by a factor of 2.
3. The DAB (Drive After Bird): The one exception for the fear being around the green. For most of us, a bird may not be rare, but it doesn't happen regularly (not as regularly as bert pooping at least). All too often, unfortunately, we squander the reduction in our score compared to par by messing up the next drive. It's the top, the hook into the woods, the slice into the trees/water, whatever. Why can't we take a bird and build upon it? Why is it so hard?
4. The penultimate fear is that, which may exclusive to a person whose name rhymes with Leve Fozmell. I experienced this fear a few weeks back, in person. There was a par 4 the was a dogleg right. The green had a bunker left, right and to the right of the right bunker and all the way behind the green is water. Boz, unfortunately hit his approach into the water. However, it landed on ground and rolled in. So...that meant he could have dropped justto the right of the green. He was afraid, however, of hitting it over the green so he went back to where he originally hit the shot into the water. I don't know what that is, but it's gotta be fear in some way...
5. This is the capper. The Myrtle Fear. While it's not experienced by an individual as fear, per se, the effect is the same. This happens to players every year. Going into Myrtle, they're feeling good, playing well, even, dare i say, confident. Then the fear, manifested as excitement, kicks in...The Chunk from 100 yards. The double chip. The 4 putt. You want to so well. You want to win the coveted LBI cup, but in the end, FAIL. You're afraid to win.
   

Fear runs rampant in life. Don't be upset if it seeps into your golf game. Just don't let it penetrate deeply. We all are hesitant to try a new shot. We are even more hesitant to take our medicine and be patient. But it's what you need to do to be successful in golf...and in life.

The skies were angry that day my friends...

Now that my shoulder injury was confirmed by a real life doctor my Sundays are freed up from the baseball doubleheaders. Today I had two rounds lined up; 9:30 at Virginia Oaks and 2:30 at South Riding...if only the weather had cooperated. It didn't just rain on us...it poured. How wet was it? Ill let the Mutumbo slip and slide tell the story.





While my round wasn't great, I did come pretty damn close to my first ever ace.

As for the second round, we didn't make past the 6th whole before they closed the course. Bummer


~Saps

Cross Pollination

I like golf. I like to write about golf. I also like food..specifically burgers...and I like to write about that as well. Since I really don't have anything golf related to write about this week, I'm going to write about burgers. In particular 2 burger joints worth visiting.

Joe's Gourmet Burgers

6710 Old Dominion Drive McLean Va

My buddy Jody, a fellow burger aficionado, and I first hit up Joe's a little over a year ago as part of our never ending burger quest (you can visit his burger blog HERE). At the time, Joe's was a little hole in the wall located on Old Dominion Drive. When I say it was a little hole in the wall, I mean it was tiny. With seating for around 20, Joe's was always packed. The menu was small but eclectic -- everything from the basic bacon cheddar burger to venison to waygu (aka Kobe beef). My burger came topped with chorizo sausage. It was good...very very good. So when Joe's moved to a bigger place right next door, I was excited. I went out there for lunch one day, but for whatever reason, the burgers were just not as good as they were at the smaller place. The burgers were still good...they just weren't great. They weren't spectacular. They weren't special. I love small local burger joints, and Joe's step backwards made me sad. I'm happy to say after my last visit Joe's wasn't just back up to the level of my first visit, it went beyond! They've really honed in on the "gourmet" in Joe's Gourmet Burgers, and it was special once again.

For a starter we got the chili fries...and after our table devoured the first order, we dialed up a second. Simply fantastic. The chili was the perfect Cincinnati consistency to serve as a topping (Chili will always be a condiment in my book), and the fries were crispy all the way through -- no one got stuck with that soggy fry way down at the bottom.

We then called up an order of THE BEST onions rings I've ever had. For real real....not for play play. The batter was crispy and light - and didn't mask the sweetness of the onion. I ate one. Then I ate another. Then I noticed some chili remaining at the bottom of the fry bowl...so I grabbed another onion ring and ran it through the chili. It was good....oh so good. It was at this point that our waiter came around to take our burger order. Oh &$*#....burgers!!!

I ordered the "Al's Numero Uno" burger, topped with smoked Gouda, a "white bbq sauce", and more of those fantastic onion rings. It was everything a burger should be. Beef was juicy, with just a hint of pepper other seasonings...nothing too overpowering to take away from the savory flavor of beef. The white bbq sauce was more of a smoky mayo, but it complimented the burger well. The onion rings, well, I don't think I can say enough of how good these were. Joe's is a must visit if you're in the mood for a good burger.

The Counter

http://www.thecounterburger.com/

11922 Democracy Drive, Reston VA

The counter is actually a franchise with locations scattered throughout the US -- and abroad with locations in Australia and Ireland. It's a "concept" burger joint, in many ways a contemporary version of "Johnny Rockets" but far more upscale. When you walk in, the first thing you notice is that nostalgic 60's burger joint feel, with patrons sitting at a counter, enjoying burgers and shakes. The second thing you notice is the full bar located directly behind the counter. I should mention the Counter serves "adult shakes." Yum.

The ordering concept is based on a "build your own burger" theme, but the options go far beyond "lettuce, tomato, and cheese." How far beyond? How about 12 varieties of cheese, grilled pineapple, pepperoncinis , green chilies...tzatziki sauce??? Why not!!!

Here's the great thing about this place. My girlfriend's food allergy makes it difficult for us to find places to eat out. Generally our options are limited to vegan restaurants (dairy allergy makes her quasi vegan) or salad bars. You cannot believe how often we've ordered a meal with specific instructions "no butter...I have an allergy," only to see a big ol' lump of butter on the plate. It makes it difficult to trust people, and it makes it even more difficult to find a good burger place (butter is pretty much everywhere). After telling our waiter of my girlfriends allergy, the waiter called over the manager, who personally brought over several sheets of paper identifying every item on the menu with the corresponding dietary restrictions. Without any hassle or embarrassment she knew exactly what she wanted...and so did I. Bacon? Tillamook Cheddar? BBQ Sauce? Yup...that seems like a good test of a burger establishment!

If you're into burgers you know that Ray's Hell Burger is the benchmark. Ray's is flat out the best burger in the Washington / Northern Virginia / Southern Maryland area. Maybe. I'm not prepared to call the Counter's burger a winner, but it gives Ray's a run for the money. It's in the same class - and that is saying A LOT! I need to set up a back to back tasting between Ray's and the Counter, because this really does go down to a taste photo finish. The Counter's burger was juicy...oh so juicy. Cooked exactly as I ordered (medium rare, red but not raw) with a sweet bbq sauce. Just as with Joe's burger, the Counter's burger was peppery, but not over seasoned, allowing the full savory meat flavor to permeate my palate. And thick!! I ordered the 2/3 lbs burger, not realizing the weight is measured AFTER cooking!! I was stuffed!!! How were the sides? Solid. We ordered up some shoe string fries (they also server sweet potato fries) and they were great. We did not but did not opt for the the chili topping, which may have been a tactical mistake. The dudes at the next table ordered the chili cheese fries...and they looked GOOD (I will have to go back).

So there you go, 2 must visits for the burger enthusiast. Both great local spots, and both should be ranked high on any burger list. Just go there and eat a burger. Then play some golf or something....I don't care. I'm hungry. I want another burger.....dammit.....

~Saps

Much anger in you, I see...

To borrow a quote a man far more wise than I:

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to suffering."

For the Jedi, fear is the path to the dark side. For us golfers, our all consuming rage is the path on which the dark side is paved. I just got off the phone with the club repair guy, and for the first time in nearly a year, my round this weekend will feature a 5-iron.

I know rage well.

Nothing angry's up the blood quicker than golf. Maybe this is because golf is the only sport where there is nobody else to blame for failure.

• A good baseball player will fail 7 times out of 10....which is perfectly acceptable when you consider there are 9 dudes trying to make you fail - one of whom happens to be hurling the ball towards you at 90 miles per hour.
• A good running back will average 4 yards per carry. 4 yards?!?! Are you kidding?!?! You know how when you pick your head up mid swing, and you hit a little topper that just kinda rolls in front of you. Then you put your head down, walk a couple steps and try to hit the ball again? Yeah...that ball probably went 10 yards....we're talking 4 yards here! Again, this is perfectly acceptable considering a running back is taking on a bunch of 300 lbs dudes all with intent to do physical harm.
• Tennis players stare down 100+ mph serves and have to wear tight shorts.
• Sky divers have to fight gravity.....gravity! That's like the strongest force on earth!!

Of course, just because we golfers don't have anyone to directly blame for our failures doesn't mean we can't act like irrational jerks.

• Ball lips out of the cup resulting in a 3-putt; "#$@& YOU BALL!!!" (Followed immediately by the long toss into the woods)
• Club hits fat; "#$&@ing CLUBS!!!!" (Followed shortly by either the club toss, or the ever popular 2-handed overhead club slam)
• Ball lands between two clumps of grass; "Piece of @#&$ DOG TRACK COURSE!!" (Usually followed with "The hell if I'm gonna rake these traps....")
• Tee shot slices into woods; "#&$@ those guys in front of us....PACE OF PLAY @$$holes!!!!." (Followed by lots of pouting)

Why is it so hard for us to let go of this rage and accept the fact that golf is just really really hard! Maybe a handful of people in this world can make a golf ball do what they want it to do. They are not of our world..they are aliens. They also practice or play 7 days a week...perhaps more. I'm lucky to get out twice a week. We've also got a lot going on in our lives. We have job troubles, we have girlfriend issues, we have kids. There is no way we can focus 100% of our attention on 100% of our shots. It just ain't realistic.

...and yet the rage is there with every duffed shot and every missed putt. No one to blame but our own lack of skills, lack of focus, and lack of commitment to the game. Nothing to blame...except perhaps for a 5-iron. During last year's Myrtle Beach golf fiasco I was stricken with a case of snap hooks which could best be considered as "soul crushing." Every tee shot -- snap / O.B. Every second shot, snap / O.B. Like Eyjafjallajokull, the rage boiled within, ready to erupt. On the third hole of the second round I blew. With Bos at the wheel, I kicked out the windshield of the golf cart. I mean, I kicked it completely off the cart (we had to borrow a screwdriver from a maintenance guy to put it back in). On the back nine I snapped the ball into someone's back yard, and lost it again. Like a deranged lumberjack I hacked away at my golf bag, snapping the 5-iron in the process.

So why, you may ask, did I wait a full year to repair my club? I actually kept my 5-iron on display...a perpetual reminder of my blow up. Every time I felt the urge to slam my club or kick the cart, I thought back to my broken 5-iron and took a deep breath. I won't say I've been a saint out on the course this past year, but I have significantly reduced the number of eruptions. Sure, I'll still swear like a drunken sailor, but the anger is significantly down and I like to think I'm a little less of a jerk.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a 5-iron to pick up and another 80's round to post. Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.

I didn't make that last on up...I stole if from Yoda. Wise in the ways of the Force was he....help you with golf too, he can.

~Saps

Lost Balls Invitational - Games

The 2010 Lost Balls Invitational will distribute total prize money of $836. Winners of the 72 Hole Tournament, Modified Ryder Cup, Closest to the Pin, and daily low net receive payouts. New in 2010 are flights for closest to the pin and low net. Details are as follows:

Tournament Prize Money

The tournament is structured as a 72 hole, handicapped, stroke play championship. The tournament pays 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and last.

• 1st Place - $250
• 2nd Place - $125
• 3rd Place - $50
• Last - $1
  

Modified Ryder Cup

The Modified Ryder Cup is a team game contested over rounds 1, 2, & 3 between the current champion "Team Crazy Horse" and "TeamDerriere's. One point is awarded for wins and a half point for ties with 16 total points available. Team Crazy Horse, the defending champion, retains the cup with 8 points. Team Derriere's takes the cup with 8 1/5 points.

• Round 1 - Two man teams playing match play utilizing their combined net scores.
• Round 2 - Two man teams playing match play utilizing the best net score of the team.
• Round 3 - Individual match play.

Team Crazy Horse Captain - Matt Moden
Team Derriere's Captain - Matt Sapsford

The total prize money is $200 to the winning team.

Closest to the Pin

One closest to the pin, per flight, will be awarded in each of the four rounds. Flights are new for 2010 meaning you will only complete against those in your flight.

• Flight 1 - Lowest 8 handicaps.
• Flight 2 - Highest 8 handicaps.

The holes are yet to be determined. Each closest to the pin winner is awarded $15.

Low Net

One low net, per flight, will be awarded in each of the four rounds. Flights are new for 2010 meaning you will only complete against those in your flight. Low net is your actual score less your handicap.

• Flight 1 - Lowest 8 handicaps.
• Flight 2 - Highest 8 handicaps.

Each low net winner is awarded $15.

Skins

Skins are separate in 2010 and a collection will occur before each round.

The A Game

Saturday morning and the alarm sings out its familiar tune, but you're not in bed. On this morning, you're already wide awake, out of the shower and energized. A nice cup of coffee and you're off on the road - with well over an hour until tee time. Traffic is light and you make it to the course feeling calm and relaxed. As you unpack your clubs, you take a look at the windbreaker crumpled up on the floor of the trunk, then gaze up towards the sun ascending in the sky; "I won't need this today," you say as the sun gently drapes its warmth across your brow.

On the range, everything feels great. Every swing is loose and every shot is flush; you are locked in and grooving. You carry this serenity to the first tee..."maybe I'll fire from the tips today!" The starter shoots you an disapproving look - after all "only pros can score from the tips on this course," he tells you. Still, something feels right today. You open a fresh box of pearls, and with an easy swing you pipe it down the center of the fairway. It only builds from there as your approach shot finds the green, takes a hop, then stops on a dime. A long double breaking putt stalls just at the lip, but you take your par feeling confident and sure. The beer cart girl greets you on the second hole and her cart is stocked full of beers, and her sweater stocked full of goodness. You come across as charming...every joke is a winner and every comment witty. As you crack open your first 12 ounces of sunshine, you can't help but close your eyes and think, "I've got 17 more holes of heaven."

You've got your A game.

Of course, as good as the A game feels, these occurances are scattered and rare (as figure 1.a shows).




Sadly, the vast majority of our rounds start much like mine did two weekends ago. Sure, I woke up ahead of my alarm clock....but rather than sipping coffee and watching Sports Center, I spent the morning hungover, face first in the toilet hurling obscenities between rounds of ferocious heaving. Do you know what a "Bear Fight" is? Do you? Because I learned this one the hard way.

I showed up to the course a tight 10 minutes before our tee time -- just enough time to realize I didn't pack any clean socks (thankfully I still had a dirty pair festering in my trunk from the prior weekend). As I grabbed my gear, I glanced upward towards the dark clouds obstructing the sun, and thought to myself, "golly.....it's f&$#ing cold today." After paying for my round and receiving the "thou shalt arrive 15 mins early" lecture from the starter, I met the rest of my foursome at the 1st tee. I tried to tee up my first ball, but due to a solid case of the 'detox shakes' it took me a good minute and a half to balance the ball onto the tee . My first shot was rigid and tense, and the ball seemed to just sort of roll off the tee, rather than 'explode.' The next shot was hit thin and buzzed the green, landing in the rough. A nice chip rolled the ball close, and after closing my eyes and concentrating, I was able to sink the 5 footer for a par. I picked up my ball feeling nauseous and weak. The cart girl showed up at the second the tee box, and while she may have been attractive (she was), the poison she was pedaling immediately triggered my gag reflex as the previous nights activities came back to me in a flood. My blank hungover expression was mistaken for a lecherous glare, branding me as just another "sketchy golfer dude."

I closed my eyes and thought "my god...I have 17 more holes of this s#&@"

Agony, pain, despair...these are the commodities in which most weekend golfers deal. As statistical evidence shows (trust me, I'm a scientist), us mere mortals aren't bestowed with the "A game" often. In fact, the best most of us can hope for is a C+ / B-. The trick is leaning how to maximize the fleeting goodness while playing through the never ending badness. The savvy golfer will note that in the two scenarios above, while the shots were quite different, the result in both cases was par. It is possible to score well in golf without hitting a good shot...you just have to scramble.

So here, dear weekend hacker, are the 5 keys to scoring well with less than your A Game:

1) "Aim Small / Miss Small"

Yes, I realize I stole that from a Mel Gibson movie but it was either that or "two men enter, one man leave." It turns out Mel doesn't have a lot of everlasting quotes in his movies (off screen I believe he has a few). In golf, the ability to minimize failure is critical for scoring well when you're at your worst.

Lets use this every-day situation: you've just s-bagged your tee shot into the woods to the left. You find your ball, however you are behind several trees. Do you a) punch out to the fairway, b) punch out to the fairway or c) punch out to the fairway. Ha! Trick question -- you should have answered d) punch out to the fairway! Let's think about this one logically; you've managed to find your ball, thus saving you a stroke. While hitting the ball back into the fairway may not give you an easy shot to the green, you will at least be able to knock it up close.

Scenario A: (1) S-bag the drive into the woods, (2) punch out to the fairway, (3) hit up towards the green, (4) chip on. Now all you have to do is 2-putt for a double. Doubles aren't enviable, but let's think of the alternative;

Scenario B: (1) S-bag the drive into the woods, (2) try to hit it out towards the green but bounce off a tree into the deep woods. (3) Take a drop because the ball is unplayable. (4) Reluctantly punch out towards the fairway. (5) Try to reach the green because you're already over par but you're pissed off so you either duff it (#$&@!!!) or push it off to the right and land in a trap (Mother#&$@ker!!!!). (6) Make a lucky shot out of the trap.....now all you have to do is less than a 2-putt to avoid Senor Ocho.

"But dude, you're just using a hypothetical to point out the worst case scenario!" Am I? Look back over your past few rounds.....go ahead, I'll wait....yeah...Scenario B seems pretty familiar, yes? Sure, you may hit that amazing shot from the woods every now and then, but if you're dealing with the sub "A-Game round", your best bet is to work towards that +1 or +2.....much better than recording a +4. Swallow your pride and make the smart play

2) Boggies > Pars

18 over par is a 90. For the VAST majority of golfers this is a FANTASTIC score. That is to say, with your A+ game, you will score in the neighborhood of 90. Look in the mirror people, that person staring back at you is not a scratch golfer. You aren't going to shoot a 72. This is just a simple reality check to keep things in perspective. You can't put expectations too high, especially when scrambling with the sub "A-Game" round. There is no sense in getting frustrated if you don't start the round Par, Par, Birdie. Golf is a constant battle, and if you mentally check out after the first hole, you won't have a chance. If you aren't feeling your best, slide the scale -- rather than aiming for +0 / +1, be content with +1 / +2. Settling for boggies and doubles will lead to a mediocre round....and when you aren't feeling your best, mediocre is kick ass.

3) Beers are good, Hydration is GREAT

I'm a big fan of boozing on the course....hell, I think it's just the bees knees. But there is no shame in pounding down non alcoholic liquids on the front nine if it helps you get back on your feet. Getting drunk on the golf course is awesome, but dealing with a hangover is just terrible. Have a beer or two for that 'hair of the dog,' but don't forget to hydrate. Water on the course = bad times. Water in the body = hooray!!

4a) & 4b) Get to the green without taking penalties & know when to bail out

These two go hand in hand. The golf swing is a wild and uncontrollable animal; you may corral it from time to time, but you will never tame the beast. On my best days, I'm happy to hit 60% of the fairways. On a bad day, I'm lucky to keep the ball in play. But thats OK, because you don't score Par from the tee box -- the majority of your strokes take place on or around the green. Realizing and accepting this fact is huge.

You may not know what your swing is going to do from one tee box to the next, but around the greens you can control your swing with greater effectiveness. You may wind up with a few frustrating 3-putts here and there, but unless you really misread the green, it's difficult to rack up penalty strokes while holding a putter. The key is getting to the green with as few penalty strokes as possible (duh). It doesn't have to be pretty (when struggling through the sub A-Game round, it probably won't be) but learning how to scramble your way to the green is essential for avoiding a blow up round.

With that in mind, there is nothing wrong with using - and embracing - the bail out areas. You may be within 100 yards of the pin, but if you're struggling there is nothing wrong with shooting towards the rough to the right in order to avoid the water to the left.

Scenario: You dial back on the driver, and take a 3/4 swing. Contact isn't solid, but the ball flies out 200 yards and lands in the rough. Another mediocre shot takes you to within 50 yards of the green. You haven't hit a good shot on the entire hole, but because you've avoided hazards and penalties, you should have at worst a double boggy locked up with a pitch onto the green and a 3-putt. As I said, double boggy ain't great, but it's 2 strokes better than Senor Ocho!

5) Keep things in perspective

This is an important one to keep in mind no matter how you are playing. The reality is a single bad round won't keep you from making the PGA tour....your crappy golf game has already has that one covered. So you post a triple digit score - big deal. In fact, depending on who you're playing with, you may even be able to score some pity booze. I remember one morning round where I absolutely struggled on the front 9 posting - something 10 to 15 strokes above my average. I ran into the snack bar at the turn to grab a hot dog, or whatever they had available at 10am. As I was standing at the bar, with my head hung low and my shoulders shrugged, my buddy came running in behind me. "2 shots of Cuervo," he said coming to my aid. Did the booze help me recover? Not really - but it did help me put things into perspective. Sure, I was on pace for a handicap shattering 120, but I was out having fun with my buddies. The weather was nice and I was out on the golf course. This frame of mine helped me relax, which in turn helped me make a few shots.

After all, as the tired old expression says; A bad day on the course is still better than a good night with your friend's momz (because she's old and hairy).

...or something like that...

~Saps

Lost Balls Invitational Pairings

The Lost Balls Invitational pairings are set. The lucky Thursday morning dewsweepers are Brett Mikoy, Bryan Mikoy, Chris Mikoy, and Jason Lich. The final round pairings will be set after the completion of the 3rd round with the top 4 after Round 3 in the final group.

Round 1 - Oyster Bay
7:24: Brett Mikoy / Bryan Mikoy / Chris Mikoy / Jason Lich
7:32: Matt Sapsford / Brian Ladd / Dave Nasar / Matt Moden
7:40: Kevin Shea / Chris Stevens / Steve Boswell / Brian Ciarlo
7:48: Doug Barszcz / Mike Hollandsworth / Rufus Knight / Troy Welck

Round 2 - Thistle (Stewart & MacKay)
1:24: Chris Mikoy / Kevin Shea / Matt Sapsford / Brian Ladd
1:36: Brett Mikoy / Bryan Mikoy / Matt Moden / Rufus Knight
1:48: Jason Lich / Chris Stevens / Doug Barszcz / Dave Nasar
2:00: Steve Boswell / Troy Welck / Brian Ciarlo / Mike Hollandsworth

Round 3 - Grande Dunes
12:20: Matt Sapsford / Brian Ciarlo / Chris Stevens / Dave Nasar
12:30: Mike Hollandsworth / Rufus Knight / Brian Ladd / Matt Moden
12:40: Chris Mikoy / Bryan Mikoy / Troy Welck / Doug Barszcz
12:50: Brett Mikoy / Kevin Shea / Steve Boswell / Jason Lich

Round 4 - Heather Glen
12:04: TBD / TBD / TBD / TBD
12:12: TBD / TBD / TBD / TBD
12:20: TBD / TBD / TBD / TBD
12:28: 1st / 2nd / 3rd / 4th

It's that time of year again....

And lo, the mighty men of valor did enter the cave of Friego the Frost Demon and with blades of fire they did slay the evil beast. Exuberance spread through the valley as the denizens emerged from their dwellings to find the sun draping its warmth and embracing the land with the fire of life. For the first time in nearly a century, the ice gave way to earth. The death cycle was broken, and the world was born anew.

Perhaps that's a bit too Tolkien, but it does offer a pretty sound explanation for this past winter. Seriously...that sucked. For everyone on the east coast, the winter of 2010 will go down as the time we all learned to appreciate not living in Buffalo. For myself, this winter served as yet another reminder of my ineptitude for prognostication.

Flashback to Summer of 2009:

I'm in a car with 3 other friends traveling north on I-95 towards fabulous Atlantic City New Jersey (yay). We've just picked up a buddy from BWI airport, and are making good time through the norther section of Maryland. Traffic is light and traveling at a brisk and steady pace.

"How much longer?" One buddy asks.

"Maybe another hour," I reply

"No way," says another "we're not even to Delaware yet."

"Delaware?!" I scoff, "Delaware is only like 10 miles long. We'll be in and out in under 15 mins"

Approximately 7 mins later...at the toll plaza guarding the Delaware border...my buddy slammed into the back of an SUV. No one was injured, but his car was totaled (Dodge Caliber vs Lexus SUV...cosmetic damage to the SUV...completely crushed Caliber). After waiting for the Highway patrol officer to fill out his report, we all piled into his cruiser and thumbed a ride to a local Howard Johnson. We found a rental and 3 hours later we were back on the road...exiting the state a mere 2 hours and 45 mins past my initial estimate. Since making that proclamation, I've traveled the I-95 stretch through Delaware a half dozen times....with an average time of an hour and a half for that 10 mile stretch of hell on earth.

Flash forward to the Fall of 2009:

After playing a round at South Riding, a group of us start to weigh the benefits of the South Riding "Player's Pass." Essentially, for $300 we'd receive a discount on rates for all of 2010 - to the tune of $15 - $25 per round. Figure we play a dozen rounds out there and it basically pays for itself...not a bad deal. BUT the kicker was the "Free golf in Jan & Feb!" Pretty sweet right? The problem is you never really know if the weather will cooperate....well, you may not know, but apparently I know everything.

"Think about it," I said "we're guaranteed at least a couple of weekends in the 50's, and we always get a random weekend in the 60's..."

While I managed to squeeze in 5 free rounds in January, the weather completely shut down the course in February. The interwebs would call that a big ol' FAIL. The lesson? I need to just shut the eff up. I'm a jinx...and apparently I can control the weather. Maybe I have some kind of negative cosmic Qi. My karma beat up your dogma....or some hippie BS like that. Bottom line, I should never utter, even jokingly, any of the following lines:

• My hair is really thick...I'll have a full head of hair for a long time...
• At least my girlfriend isn't pregnant...
• As long as I bogey the next 3 holes, I'll finish under 90...

But all that is behind us now -- it's springtime for Washington and golf are GO! Blah Blah Blah Obscure Youtube Link, Blah Blah Blah Blah! Where was I going..oh yes...golf is in the air people. No more sludging through wet soggy fairways. No more fighting through frostbitten polar bear rounds. No more blaming the wind for pulling the ball into the trap. Well, that last one will probably stick around....but goodness is upon us! Let us lift our heads to the sky and rejoice!

After all, THIS is the year I break into the 80's!!!

~Saps

2010 Myrtle Beach Course and Tee Time Announced

The 2010 Myrtle Beach Championship courses and tee times have been completed. The MBC will be contested with...

Round 1 at Oyster Bay - Thursday June 10, 7:24am

Round 2 at Thistle - Thursday June 10, 1:24pm

Round 3 at Grande Dunes - Friday June 11, 12:20pm

Round 4 at Heather Glen - Saturday June 20, 12:04pm