Oh Lordy, we're getting down to the wire! Only 9 more days until the first tee shot. 9 more days until shirtless shotguns, hooters hula hoops, and general jackassery. As this is the last full week before we depart, we'll be releasing a player bio per day! Ambitious, sure, but were dedicated to bringing you the best ways to waste company time with out sending out delicious pornography. Oh, and to make things even better by this time tomorrow I'll in Vegas. A week in Vegas, followed right up by a week at Myrtle? Sweet Jesus...start the prop bets on whether on not I finish the 1st round!
4. Kevin Shea
Folks round this way claim Kevin Shea is not so much a man as he is a part of nature. They say his mamma was the wind, and his pappa the forest. They say tornadoes spawn from his sneezes and hurricanes from his farts. He's nine feet tall if he's a foot, and his arms can stretch from the Kansas clear to Arkansas. Yes sir, Kevin Shea once drank a bar clean out of Capitan Morgan and when the bartender told him there was nothing left, Sheabone replied "that's OK partner, I felt like switching to Vodka anyways." Tall tales maybe, but spend enough time around this lanky character and you may find yourself telling a Sheabone story of your own.
Also, he’s a robot.
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Saps Says: Saps's Sleeper Special(tm). Shea will constantly be in pound town, and rarely wear a shirt - but along the way he'll play some golf. Handicap is high, but scoring average is coming down. This could be the year Shea cracks Top 5 (Projected Finish - 4th)
CT Says: The quality of Kevin’s play is inversely related to the probability of two, maybe three, factors. (i) the pending probability of a supervolcanic explosion and subsequent mad max-like post-apocalyptic society based on a system of bartering; (ii) the probability of a zombie event - one in which is induced by humans or through the natural course of human events. (iii) a robot infiltrate of humans whereby they become our overlords. Now, overlay this with the direct relationship of his golf play and his volume of shirtless shotguns on any given round AND the fact that the probability of the events noted above increase in his mind while drinking and it’s really anyone’s guess how Sheabone will play.
4 more to go!
~Saps
4. Kevin Shea
Folks round this way claim Kevin Shea is not so much a man as he is a part of nature. They say his mamma was the wind, and his pappa the forest. They say tornadoes spawn from his sneezes and hurricanes from his farts. He's nine feet tall if he's a foot, and his arms can stretch from the Kansas clear to Arkansas. Yes sir, Kevin Shea once drank a bar clean out of Capitan Morgan and when the bartender told him there was nothing left, Sheabone replied "that's OK partner, I felt like switching to Vodka anyways." Tall tales maybe, but spend enough time around this lanky character and you may find yourself telling a Sheabone story of your own.
Also, he’s a robot.
>>>VIEW PLAYER CARD>>>
Saps Says: Saps's Sleeper Special(tm). Shea will constantly be in pound town, and rarely wear a shirt - but along the way he'll play some golf. Handicap is high, but scoring average is coming down. This could be the year Shea cracks Top 5 (Projected Finish - 4th)
CT Says: The quality of Kevin’s play is inversely related to the probability of two, maybe three, factors. (i) the pending probability of a supervolcanic explosion and subsequent mad max-like post-apocalyptic society based on a system of bartering; (ii) the probability of a zombie event - one in which is induced by humans or through the natural course of human events. (iii) a robot infiltrate of humans whereby they become our overlords. Now, overlay this with the direct relationship of his golf play and his volume of shirtless shotguns on any given round AND the fact that the probability of the events noted above increase in his mind while drinking and it’s really anyone’s guess how Sheabone will play.
4 more to go!
~Saps
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